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Meet Sally Hope

Motorcycle-riding renegade life coach and leader of the Wildheart Revolution. Loves: Hot-pink lipstick, puns, guns, crosswords, two-steppin', and french manicures.

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Author Archives: Sally

On not doing what all the internet marketers tell you to do

It’s 2:46 pm. Which is about 6 hours later than I intended to post this. My original intention was that I’d wake up super early. Meditate. Eat breakfast slowly. And then write to you.

I know all email marketers will tell you you to 1) Keep your posts short!; and 2) Write them ahead of time so you can bulk them and schedule them. Neither of these things I do or have ever done, partially because that’s just not my style, and mostly because I like being in the moment when I share with you.

What I felt yesterday is almost always not what I feel today. What I felt this morning at 6 am is not what I’m feeling right now at 2:39. So it doesn’t make sense to me to write you a week ahead of time.

The reason I was supposed to send this email early was because I’m here to tell you that the cart to my 40 Day Meditation challenge is OPEN AS OF RIGHT NOW!!! I was supposed to tell you to make sure to jump in on the EARLY BIRD PRICE HAPPENING ONLY FOR ONE WEEK.

And I was supposed to tell you that first thing in the morning so you get it since everyone checks their emails from bed. By 2:39 Mountain time, you’re probably annoyed with work, at lunch, not opening your emails, or going home for the day to completely unplug. None of these statistics are good for you opening my email.

So…I was going to wait until tomorrow. When the email marketers tell me it’s more fresh. When it’s more likely that you’ll see it.

But what I’ve decided is that I want to share all the moments with you. Even the ones where I skipped out on the email I was supposed to write because frankly, there was something more important going on. FAMILY. My cousin and his father in law (who I had never met and who is completely delightful) came in for a surprise visit and I wanted to spend time with them getting my new (FREE!) Jeep up and running (story about that coming soon).

And so even though at times my mind wandered to feeling frustrated my email hadn’t gone out and I hadn’t told you yet about the 40 Day Meditation Challenge, mostly I was really focused on being present with these two, amazing humans.

I asked questions about Arnold’s life. I joked around with my cousin Cody. I took them for a drive through historic Bozeman and told them my favorite stories about the oldest buildings in town, including where the brothels used to be. We joked about the weather. We had an incredible breakfast at my favorite place in town. We went to Auto Zone, twice. Cody taught me how to re-program the keyless entry so that when I press the button my seat will be in the perfect position for me. We shivered in subzero temperatures, and gave each other nice long hugs before they drove away.

It was moments like these that made me realize that this is EXACTLY the email I’m supposed to send to you. Because these are the moments of life that are really important. And we only know that when we are intentional with our lives and our time. And one way to do that is through meditating.

Last year when I did this same meditation that I’m going to be doing with you starting in a couple weeks, I intended that I would have more meaningful relationships in my life. That I would be the type of person to attract quality people into my life. That “family” would come into my life.

Things don’t always look the exact way you picture, but in looking back on the last time I did this 40 day meditation, I can see that everything I hoped for myself showed up in the exact way it needed to to get me where I needed to go in life.

Since doing it my life has completely changed for the better. And I’m not the only one. I will be sharing some incredible stories with you really soon but in the meantime I’m here to tell you that the CART IS NOW OPEN FOR EARLY BIRD PRICING for my 40 Day Meditation.

Here are the details:

  • 40 Days of “Beaming & Creating The Future” meditation where we will clear out all we need to release and let go from 2017 and envision and literally “beam” into the Universe what we want for ourselves for 2018 (seriously…awesome)
  • Access to this course from a membership, login site (available year round so you can take it time and time again)
  • Online Facebook community for daily inspiration, check-ins, and journal prompts (and daily emails in case you don’t like using FB)
  • Weekly Live Q & A’s with me
  • Tons of support for these last 40 days of the year

Get the full list of details by clicking right here.

2018 is coming whether we like it or not. Let’s get SUPER clear what we want for ourselves and let’s let go of anything that is holding us back from that. And let’s all do that together.

The EARLY BIRD price is up for only one week. It’s only $87 (which the marketers also tell me I’m not supposed to tell you, but you know what? I DO WHAT I WANT!). Which means it’s only $2.18 per day. $2.18 to have a better life. To not go into 2018 letting life just sweep you up in the chaos. $2.18 to say “I’m ready to be who I want and have the life I deserve.”

I’d say in the grand scheme of things, that’s pretty affordable. So, my darling, are you in??

I, of course, want you to sign up today so I can start welcoming you in now and you can start in on my FAVORITE part of this meditation (it involves Pinterest but that’s all I’m telling you until you join us), but technically you have a little over a week to join us (marketers are yelling at me right now). BUT, the early bird goes away soon.

So…if you have ANY questions, reply to this email. Otherwise, jump on in and join the 20 people we already have joining us (repeat meditators get first dibs! That can be you next year!) and let’s get started creating our ideal futures together.

XO,

Sally

THIS is the moment I wanted to share with you

I had a completely different post ready to go for you today. But as I sit here at my kitchen table, with my green tea steaming in my favorite mug to my left, my new green sharpie in my hand writing in my journal to my right, and looking up to my backyard completely blanketed with snow right in front of me, this moment is the one I want to share with you.

The sun hasn’t come up yet, but it’s not dark. It’s in that in between place of not quite morning yet and definitely not night. Every moment I look outside, it’s a little bit brighter, but the sky is gray and cold.

Yesterday was our first big snow of the year. The kind of snow where you know it’s here to stay. Not the kind of snow we get in October where it could all melt away within hours and I could be on my motorcycle by the afternoon.

No. This is the kind of snow where you know it’s time to bring the shovels out from storage, and start looking for new winter boots.

I’ve been in Montana for five winters, so I’m not new to how it all goes, but this year feels really different. Colder. More snowy already. I don’t feel ready for it.

And it might be this feeling of resistance or it might be where my mind is at but I was awaken in the middle of the night last night by bad nightmares that sent me to sleep paralysis, which kind of like the time of day right now, is an in between time between being awake and being asleep.

Your eyes are open, but your brain isn’t awake. You’re not sure if you’re still dreaming, but you can’t speak or think clearly. This used to happen to me in my old apartment on Main Street that was confirmed to be haunted by an energy clearer I hired once.

Needless to say, when I wake up from a night like this, I’m a bit shaken up. I wake up with that feeling of anxiety or dread in my chest, for no good apparent reason, since things in my life aren’t all that different than any other day.

I ask myself “Is it because I just had to pay my quarterly taxes and my property taxes are due and I had to deal with health insurance yesterday and being an adult homeowner doing it on my own feels hard?”

And then “when it feels hard I get frustrated that I don’t have a partner and have to do it all on my own…”

And then “I’ll ALWAYS have to do it on my own…”

And then down the rabbit hole I go of all my biggest fears until the anxiety builds up in my chest.

And so I do the only thing I know how to do now…meditate. I begin long deep belly breathing. I go back to a meditation that I taught in class this week about “removing haunting thoughts” by recognizing what they are, forgiving yourself and anyone else involved, and then handing to trouble over to a higher source. And then I listen to one of my favorite mantras that is about removing the blocks to abundance. And I go back to long deep breathing, shining more light on the feelings that are happening, not making them wrong, but loving them and myself the whole time.

I begin to calm down. Feel better even. And not in that fake way where you just tell yourself you’re ok to “fake it til you make it” but in that way where you know that it’s ok to feel exactly what you’re feeling, and it’s also ok to get up and decide to face it all.

So I throw the blankets off and get out of bed, but as I’m doing that, I see the abandoned book on my nightstand and something tells me to pick it up. It’s Byron Katie’s book “I Need Your Love, Is That True?” and I read the chapter I left off on and it has an exercise where you write down all the things that you wouldn’t want anyone to know about you.

And I do that. From my kitchen table, with my green tea steaming to my left, and the view of the snow-filled back yard right in front of me. And I discover that there is a lot in there that I didn’t realize. And that it feels good to just become aware and write it down, because I know that the more light you shine on something, the easier it is for the darkness to subside. Even if at first what you see in the light is painful.

And I realize that I want to share THIS moment with you. The one that feels a little dark and alone, but also emerging light. It’s inevitable. No matter what I do or what happens in my life, day is going to come.

And I wonder what in your life feels like this. What place you’re at. What darkness you’re feeling. Or what lightness you want to feel more of. And I imagine that no matter what your particular situation is, you might recognize some of my story in your own life.

And, like me, you find solace in knowing that there is something you can DO to examine your life and move through it and be intentional about creating what you want. To me, this is the value of meditating.

It doesn’t make us have a perfect life. But it does let us look at the life we have through fresh eyes and it helps us to be really real about our emotions so that we can decide, and be intentional with how we want to proceed.

And as a goal oriented person, this works for me. I imagine it probably would for you too.

In my last email I mentioned something exciting that was coming up and I’m happy to say that what is coming up is very much in line with this.

It’s all about being intentional with the life we want to have, especially going into the New Year, and about clearing the things we want to let go of from this year. And it’s all wrapped up in a really potent 40 day meditation that has proven results, some of which I’ll share with you very soon.

I’m not quite ready to open the cart yet, but I will have more info very soon. In the meantime, mark your calendars for November 22, which is when we’ll start creating our futures, together.

Make sure you sign up for my list and look for an email next week that will give you all the details. And in the meantime, I hope you enjoy today, snowy gray sky or sunny blue sky.

And as always, I love hearing from you. So please reply to this message and let me know what resonates with you from this email, and definitely let me know if you’re interested in what’s coming up so I can put you on the VIP list. Cuz…who doesn’t want to feel all special? :)

Send me warm and cozy vibes!
Sally

I Turned 38 Yesterday (and it’s the first time I said my age on the internet)

It feels so good to be writing to you. Like we have this little corner of the world to connect. I’m sitting here on my couch with a gray (but beautiful) Montana sky, reflecting on…so much.

I’ve never said this out loud before on the internet until now, but I turned 38 yesterday. And with that came a slew of intense feelings.

I’ve never really talked about my age. I always felt like people thought I was younger than I was and I liked that because it made me feel mysterious and desirable.

But as this year has progressed and so many damn things have changed in my life (from my skin, to my body, to my understanding about myself and life, to so many more life lessons) I find myself thinking it’s important to show more of what it’s like to be in THESE phases of life.

Of course it’s easy to share when everything is awesome and you’re on adventures and traveling the world and running a successful business and you feel young and hot, but it’s far more difficult to share when you feel like you’ve lost your footing and don’t know where to go in life and you all of a sudden have wrinkles where you didn’t before.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot these past few years as I had struggled with intense feelings of sadness, feeling lost, and feeling behind in my life.

I started dreading my birthday four months ago anticipating feeling crappy and I decided then that I was going to be in the best shape of my life. What I thought I meant by that was my body. But what I didn’t realize back then was that you don’t get in “shape” by beating yourself or giving yourself impossible goals. You become strong by learning how to truly love yourself and examining those darker places inside that just need a bit more light.

This year, I feel stronger than ever. I’m not the thinnest I’ve ever been. I don’t feel as “attractive” I’ve ever felt in some ways. But I feel the most grounded, real, and emotionally, spiritually, and physically strong than I’ve ever felt. And that feels damn good.

Age is weird. There are so many expectations we feel from different phases of life and not a lot of people talking about the emotional experiences that happen from these phases, and that’s something I’m vowing to do this year.

I’m done hiding parts of myself I don’t think are “perfect” or “attractive.” I’m done feeling like there aren’t a lot of role models for these phases we all go through. I’m done feeling bad comparing myself and my life to the curated ones I see on the internet. And I’m done letting any of this stuff take me out.

I’ve been using a mantra lately that has really helped me, especially as my birthday was coming up which is “I’m not going down like that.”

Whenever I’m stuck or feeling bad or sorry for myself for whatever reason I say out loud “don’t go down like that girl.”

This helps me to pick myself up, be grateful for what I have, and feel strong and at “cause” over my life instead of “effect.” It’s the motivating motto that allowed me to have a perfect birthday and ask for the love and support I needed and allowed me to actually receive that love and support.

So all of this is to say that I’m vowing to make this year incredible and perhaps be a voice of inspiration for you too if you’re feeling like you’re in a difficult phase of life. You don’t have to go down like that either.

Problems will always arise in our lives. We’ll likely always feel somewhat unsatisfied with where we’re at. People leave us. We have tragedy and illness and so many things that are beyond our control. But for the things we can control…let’s not go down like that, shall we?

You are strong and brave and you don’t have to go down like that.

So as a birthday gift, I’d love to hear from you. Does any of this resonate with you? Have you needed the reminder to “not go down like that?” Comment below this post and let me know. Connection is what makes life so sweet. Looking forward to connecting with you more.

Best,

Sally

P.s. Something exciting is in the works but I can’t tell you what yet. I can say that it’s a tangible way to “not go down like that” and it’ll come in perfect time for New Years! Keep an eye out. And make sure you’re on the list to be the fist to know about it. 

“Why you gotta be so mean?”

 

Last night I was watching a live stream from a well known blogger. She’s smart. She’s gorgeous. She works hard. And she’s accomplished. Ever the fan of “makeover” stories where people show commitment and determination to get from “Undesirable Point A” to “Desirable Point B,” I was getting sucked into her story: depressed goth girl who cuts herself and has an eating disorder turned radical self-love pioneer who finds personal success, happiness, and loves her life. #awesome

My reactions were pretty typical in this setting, from “You go girl!” to “Well done for working hard!” to feeling inspired by her capacity to turn it all around, but as I was reading the live comments under the post, I noticed how mean they were. They criticized her accent, her outfit, saying that her words don’t even matter and as I was thinking about this, I said out loud…

“Why do people have to be so mean?”

And it was a legitimate question in my mind, as though I honestly didn’t know the answer.

But then it occurred to me that I DID know the answer.

And I knew it really well. Because that used to be me. In high school I used to be a “mean girl.” Critical, judgmental, and cruel. I’d make fun of people for anything and everything. I’d always point out the negative. My motto was “life sucks and then you die.” I manipulated and controlled situations and probably made people’s lives a living hell. All of this saddens me.

It’s strange how much I’ve forgotten this side of myself as almost 20 years have passed and my ultra sensitive, gentle self has come out from hiding, where she went 20 years ago when life got really dark, hard, confusing, painful and traumatic. And all I knew how to do was harden, avoid, distract and spew the sadness in my heart onto other people.

And so when I was thinking about this, I knew how to answer the question, “Why do people have to be so mean?”

People are mean because they are hurting.

They are critical and judgmental of themselves and so they will be judgmental and critical of you. They expect perfection from themselves so they expect perfection from you. They are unhappy. Or feel stuck. Or have emotions they don’t know how to handle and so they take it out on you and the world and make shitty comments on the internet for no good reason.

They do it because it makes them feel powerful and better than you because they don’t inherently feel valuable, worthy and good. They do it to feel like they have some kind of control in their lives or something to prove. They do it because they don’t realize the impact they’re having and they don’t think it’s a big deal. And they do it because deep down they don’t love themselves so they can’t love you. And instead, have to be mean. I know this because I WAS this.

I recently had a situation where I was reminded of this. I was feeling criticized and belittled and small. And it was really easy for me, in those moments, to feel bad about myself and go into a spiral of negative self talk. Feeling unworthy of love, but grasping for it like an addict trying to cover up the pain.

But then I remembered something important…that most of time, when people treat you badly, it isn’t about you. But rather it’s a reflection of something inside themselves they aren’t addressing.

Our behaviors come from somewhere. They aren’t arbitrary. And often they come from our past traumatic experiences and our own suffering and pain. It reminds me of a lyric from my old band that says, “I never met a madman who didn’t have a cause, and I never met a pervert who didn’t have a broken heart.” Check out the song right here:

But even given that the way people treat us comes from somewhere, and we can be empathetic, we also still have a choice. We can either let it keep happening, or we can stop it. We can engage it, or we can ignore it. We can internalize it, or we can remove ourselves from it.

We can stay in “Undesirable Point A,” or we can try to get to “Desirable Point B” by pointing all our decisions towards B. Like the well-known blogger from the live stream who made a choice that NO MORE was she going to live how she previously lived. Like I did by standing up for myself to say that I won’t tolerate that kind of treatment. And like so many other decisions (big and small) we make constantly that help us be where we want to be in life.

And choice is everything.

Whether you’re being the “mean girl” right now, or you’re the victim of cruelty, you have a choice to turn it all around.

It only takes one decision and a desire to be different.

If you’re currently the mean girl, ask yourself, “what am I feeling about myself and my life right now that could be contributing to this?”

If you’re currently the victim of cruelty, ask yourself, “In what ways can I love myself and stand up for myself right now?”

Today, I’m choosing to love myself and love others to the best of my ability. And to know in myself when I’m being cruel. And to be aware of when my own pain is being used to hurt others. How about you?

None of us are perfect, and we will make mistakes. Sometimes we’ll be mean and cruel and sometimes we’ll be loving and kind.

But the best thing we can do is see the places of darkness inside ourselves and strive to bring in more light.

And we can prevent our own light from being dampened by outside negative forces. And to me, that’s what it means to live wildheart.

As you know, discussion is my favorite part of this blog, so I’d love to hear from you.

In the comments below let me know:  

  1. Have you ever been on either side of this coin? Have you been the “mean girl/guy”? Have you been the victim of cruelty?
  2. What is one thing in your life right now you want to turn around?

And if you liked this article, please feel free to “like” and share it by hitting the share buttons at the top of this page. And if you want to be on the inside of Wildheart, being the first to know when new and exciting things happen (plus getting my free meditation about creating your ideal future) make sure you’re on the list.

XO

Sally

When you want to hide (but don’t do it…do this instead)

A couple weeks ago I *thought* I got pink eye. It turns out it was a stye, which I thought would be better, except of course that my stye turned into what looks like a giant whitehead zit/huge bee sting on my eyelid.

And from the way I’ve been acting and feeling about it, you’d think that I committed the most shameful sin.

Meaning…I’ve been more-than-embarrassed. And I’ve been wanting to hide myself behind sunglasses, or stay at home, or not see any of my friends, and definitely not meet the family of a very cute guy.

And as I’ve been dealing with this for the past couple weeks, I’ve been faced with something that I didn’t realize was really present for me…which is that I care A LOT about what other people think.

I’ve distilled it down to what my main concern is, which is…

“What will people think of me when they see this?”

I imagine that what they might think is that I’m gross. Or that I’m defected. Or that maybe this is just my eye and then they’ll feel bad for me to have to go through life with a giant whitehead on my eyeball. I imagine that they’ll be uncomfortable looking at me. Or not want to look at me at all. Or that they’ll make fun of me when I turn around. I imagine that they’ll think I’m contagious and not want to hug me.

And I imagine that I’ll feel invisible, less worthy, less attractive, and more of a burden. In general.

I didn’t expect these complex emotions to arise, simply from a silly little stye but they did. And it made me think so much about life in general. And perfectionism. And perhaps an epidemic that is just lying under the surface for us all, or right in front of our (stye-filled) eyes…

Which is that we all hold ourselves up to such an impossible standard, that we set up a system for ourselves where we’re never enough.

When we have something that we consider to be a “blemish” or “not acceptable” or something that someone might judge us about, we want to hide and avoid. And we feel less important, desirable, or worthy.

This has happened to me in other areas of my life, like when I’ve gained weight, felt depressed, felt confused in life, not been creating anything I deem as amazing, I don’t feel beautiful or attractive, I’m not in the “stage of life” I feel like I should be in compared to others, and a whole slew of other scenarios.

And in all these scenarios in the past or present, I want to hide what’s happening, not go out, and definitely not tell people.

They are all variations of hiding myself so that I don’t have to face what someone else might think of my situation, or what I, deep down think of myself.

Which simply, is that if I’m not perfect, or acting in a way I deem to be acceptable, I’m not worthy of being in the world or being loved. (not literally…don’t worry).

I’ve noticed my desire to hide a lot the last couple weeks. I haven’t wanted to deal with my assumptions about what someone else might think of my eye. So that I don’t make them uncomfortable by having to look at it. So I don’t put them in that awkward situation of having to deal with my imperfection. So I don’t have to feel like an outcast.

And in these moments I realized how much of a perfectionist I am, and the ridiculously high and impossible standard I hold myself up to. I mean…if I can’t even get a stye, which literally has nothing to do with me, without feeling like I’m worth less, then what does that mean for the rest of my life and what does that mean for all of our lives? What does that mean when I make a mistake? Or accidentally hurt someone I care about? Or make a wrong move? Or show the depth of my emotions and feel like maybe I revealed too much?

It means that none of it is acceptable and should be grounds for “hiding.” But what I’ve been noticing is that when you hide your stye (or any other life blemish) you also hide your light.

Because you can’t both hide and also shine.

And then I wondered how many things in all of our lives we do this with. How many times we shy away from something or someone because we don’t think we’re “ready” or “right” or “good enough.” How many times we don’t start dating or start businesses until we’ve lost weight or learned more. How many times we miss opportunities for connection, or for deepening our love and acceptance for ourselves simply because we’re embarrassed of who we are or what’s going on with us. How many times we turn down our “shine” because we decide to hide instead.

I think way more than I ever realized. And that makes me sad for us all.

It sounds really silly but this little stye has taught me a lot.

It has taught me to (at least try to):

  • Accept myself even when I’m not “perfect”
  • Show myself to people even when I don’t feel “perfect”
  • Have honest conversations about my insecurities with my loved ones (including a conversation where I pre-empted a hang with a friend I haven’t seen in years by saying “I just have to tell you, I have a big stye on my eye and I feel super self conscious about that! Just wanted to put it out there!”
  • Not worry so much about what other people think of me
  • Not hide myself

And even though it’s only been two weeks, I feel like it’s an experience we can all learn from. I imagine that you too have some metaphorical “styes.” That you too have some areas of yourself or your life that you feel embarrassed about or want to hide.

And if you do, I hope this acts as a reminder that no matter what is going on and where you’re at in your life, you are worthy of being loved and accepted.

And also…that the world needs your shine. The more real people we have in the world, the less we all feel so alone with our “imperfections.” And really…I want to be at THAT party. With you. And your stye and whatever else you have going on.

In my mind I just went to a virtual party where everyone shows up with a “Hi My Name Is…” sticker but instead it says “Hi, My Insecurity Today Is….”

And then I giggled thinking about what a conversation starter that would be. And how fun that would be to be honest and witness other people doing the same. And how much opportunity we’d have to connect. SOOOOO…if you want to play, in the comments below fill in the blank, “Hi, My Insecurity Today Is_________” and then follow it up with one thing you love about yourself.

I’ll go first…

“My Insecurity Today is my stye in my eye and one thing I love about myself is that I have a kind and tender heart.”

Now you go. I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments below. And if you know someone that needs to read these words, please feel free to “like” and “share” by clicking the buttons on the side of this page or copy/pasting the URL. Let’s all shine anyway. 

Your partner in crime,

Sally

P.s. All the best stuff happens first over on my list so if you’re not already on it, make sure you pop your little namesy and email addressy right over HERE

Wildheart Revolution