I have a lot of terrible habits. That don’t serve me or my higher purpose. And up to now, I’ve beat myself up really bad for these habits.
“I’m just lazy and I’ll never not be lazy” I’d think
“I don’t have what it takes to make REAL changes in my life”
“That’s just the way it is”
“That’s just who I am. Who I’ve always been. Who I’ll always be. Can’t help it”
And each time I’d say these things to myself, I’d believe them. Like “Yeah, you’re right,” I think…”this is just who I am, so I might as well watch ANOTHER episode of Pretty Little Liars” instead of go to the gym.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I think…”you don’t have what it takes to be the leader of the Wildheart Revolution, so you might as well fuck off on Facebook than set up more free coaching calls with potential clients.”
And the problem with that, is that all of these statements perpetuate my bad behaviors. It’s a cycle. I think those thoughts, act certain ways (my habit) based on them, and then do more things (lazy stuff) that create more of those thoughts. And thus the cycle continues.
In the past, I’ve read a ton of books and talked to a ton of coaches, and wondered what was going to be the ONE THING that switched everything for me. The thing that was all of a sudden going to get rid of my bad habits, like procrastination, avoidance, being fine with “good enough,” being lazy, placing all my success in the hands of others, quitting, not trying hard enough, not taking a strong enough stand on anything and on and on. And it’s not until recently that I figured out that I had it all wrong.
Change isn’t about one event that turns the tide on everything. But rather, it’s little decisions every single day, that all serve the purpose of your bigger goal, that make the real difference. Each day is a brand new day to commit to your change. Just because you did it yesterday doesn’t mean you’ll do it today. Or just because you didn’t do it the last thirty times you said you wanted to doesn’t mean you can’t do it now…and tomorrow. The choice is all yours. And whatever you choose makes the difference between things staying the same, or things changing.
I came to this conclusion while at the gym. I was working out hard. Feeling good. And the thought entered my mind that this is all fine and good, but eventually, I’ll fall off the exercise band wagon…again. That I’ll reach my goal, and then I’ll stop working out. That there is no lasting change, but rather a cycle of making a goal, reaching it, then totally lazing out and letting myself go until the next time I can’t stand it anymore and have to make another goal. Wash, rinse, repeat.
And in that moment, it also occurred to me that I can CHOOSE to not believe that. That the choice on how this goes down is really up to me. And a different result is just a matter of making a lot of small decisions on a daily basis that all serve by bigger goal of being healthy…not just looking good. I don’t have to be the person I’ve always been. I don’t have to do what my friends, family, or peers do. That I CAN actually change, and it’s not because I make one decision to do so. But that I can change by constantly making decisions.
I have a lot of clients who come to me wanting change. At the point at which they hire a coach, they’re fed up. Tired of their old behaviors. Really wanting something different this time around. And almost all people who feel this way tend to think that change is one big, sweeping event that happens, and all of a sudden everything after that event is different. Boom. Bam. Change. Done.
And from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t work like that, and the ones that want it to, end up disappointed.
Real and lasting change happens bit by bit. Brick by crick. It happens every single day. In the little decisions we make. That’s where change lives. It’s the decision, again today, to go to the gym. The decision, again today, to feel those feelings that are hard and annoying and tough because you know that on the other side of it is the kind of life you want to be living. Change isn’t something that just happens. But rather change is something that you do constantly. Like you’re raging against your own machine on a daily basis. So go on. Rage on. There is no better time than right now, today, to make a decision that serves you.
And with that, I’m off to the gym. Again. What little decision will YOU make today that serves your bigger goal? Leave a comment below.
P.s. Also…wanted to give you a heads up that is soon going to be a brand new way to work with me. A subscription…$35 a month will get you a weekly coaching lesson and homework, and private facebook group to discuss homework and other Wildheart type things, one live group coaching call per week, one live Facebook office hours coaching per week, and random contests and giveaways. If you’re interested in getting more info when it’s ready, sign up HERE.