August 14th, 2015
The other day I was at my very first Reiki healing and meditation circle. I got an email from a friend mere hours before the thing was supposed to start, and had previously been looking for more “spritual” like things to do around town so it was perfect timing.
So I jumped in the shower, with not even enough time to brush my hair, and rushed to the crystal shop two towns over where the circle was to be held. I didn’t know anyone who was going to be there, but for a traveler, this is not a problem.
So I get there maybe one or two minutes late and everyone is already sitting around in a circle, with the lights dim. I say “hello!” with a big smile on my face and before I could properly meet all the people, I saw the sweetest looking dog curled up by a woman’s feet.
Now…I’ve become quite the dog lover. Which is funny for someone who used to be so annoyed by the excitedness of wagging tails, shedding fur, and slobbery tongues. But now, whenever I see a dog, I MUST go pet it. I’ve been known to run several blocks to pet a great dane. True story. Two weeks ago.
So I go over to Penny, the puppy and she starts licking me and cuddling up to me. So much so that the woman who was sitting next to Penny and her mom, moved so I could be closer to the dog.
Penny near jumped into my arms (which apparently is very unusual for her), and so I picked her up like a football and cradled her like a baby in my lap as I rubbed her belly and she looked lovingly straight into my eyes.
This went on for about ten minutes before she jumped down to curl back up at her owner’s feet. My first reaction was to feel loss, like “noooo! come back!” but my second reaction was to say “thank you for hanging with me that long!”
Previous to this moment, it’s been a bit of a tough week. You know…one of those weeks where you just feel sort of lost. And tired. And you get some news you don’t really want to hear. And you don’t know what your next step is and not in that exciting “anything is possible!” way, but in that darker “shit…what am I gonna do?” way. And so I was feeling that. And feeling disconnected.
And so when I got to this Reiki circle, not knowing what to expect at all since I’d never been to one before, I guess I was looking for something. Some guidance maybe? A sign to tell me that everything was going to be all right perhaps?
And right in that moment, during the Reiki healing, when I felt my eyes start to well up with tears, I asked for some help. Some guidance. And right then, Penny put her sweet little face on my foot.
I kid you not. It was the exact moment I needed to know I was supported. And not alone. I sat there with my eyes closed, and took a deep breath and smiled.
Earlier this week my mom sent me a picture that came full circle in this moment. It was a picture she said always makes her feel not alone and makes her feel loved by the higher ups (whoever they are).
And this is what Penny said too. You are not alone. I am here. You are being cared for right in this moment, even if you don’t feel like it. You are in the palm of my hand and won’t be forgotten.
Maybe you’ve had a week like me. Maybe your week was really hard on you. Maybe you’re feeling lost and alone and not having any clue what to do next. And if that’s the case, consider this email the little Penny cuddle on your foot. The note to let you know that you’re not alone, you’re being held in the palm of my hand. And if you need the support more than ever, close your eyes and ask for it.
Sending you lots of Pennies,