January 9th, 2012
It’s been almost a week since the dawning of the new year and I don’t know about you guys, but there is always this point where I’m like “YEAH!!! This year is gonna be awesome! I’m gonna do THIS, and THAT, and THAT and I’m going to start right this second.” And then naturally, the days go by and you forget and then you feel bad about yourself that it’s already been 8 days and nothing really has changed. But then, I realized that already this year, I’ve gained new clients, I picked up an entirely new skill, I’ve traveled twice, and once out of state, where I’ve met new friends, and done something I’ve never done before. And realized that it’s all good. I’m doing stuff.
So if you’re doing what I was doing…take the pressure off yourself. Know that you’re doing more than you realize. Be kind to yourself. And realize you’re doing and being everything you need to, right now.
So this year I want to incorporate more of YOUR questions into my blog and I’ve already gotten some great ones. Today’s started out being about business, but I’ve applied it to your whole life. Faaaaaaaaaaancy.
Mai writes, “Can i really be full authentic on my blog, showing warts and all. Or do I still need to present some kind of a front, to sell? I mean it’s a lot easier and more “inspiring” to post happy go lucky, cheerful, successful images. And how honest do we get? before it is detrimental.”
Mai, I absolutely love this question and the short answer is YES. Be yourself. But here’s the long answer….
I believe that you should use your blog in exactly the way you want to use your blog, and the fact you’re asking this question is telling me that you’re yearning for more authenticity. My personal opinion is that the more authentic you are (people are…in general), the better. People don’t really buy “services” anymore, as much as they buy “YOU.” People want to know you’re real. People like to know that you’ve gone through something that they’re going through. And ultimately if they’re hiring you, they’re going to get YOU. Not the dumbed down version. So show up as the real one right away.
I don’t agree that it’s more inspiring to see only happy-go-lucky images and successful stories. On the contrary I think it is far more inspiring to see humanness and the broad spectrum of how that shows up. Struggle, and sadness, and overcoming fear, and feeling defeated, as well as happiness, joy, love and busting through your own barriers. I’m far more inspired by a real story than I am by someone who “seems” to have it all together.
And with that, a short story. When I first started my blog, most of my posts were based on my real life, but in the way that I was talking about something that had happened or that I was scared of, instead of sharing from the depths of the experience. It wasn’t until a few months in that I actually started to get vulnerable. Share things that were ugly, scary, embarrassing, hurtful, sad. I cried on camera. I admitted to things that I’d always hid away deep inside. It was terrifying. And it wasn’t until I did all that that my readership grew and I got much more support and my business doubled. People could identify with it. They said they were inspired by it. They shared it with their friends and sent emails and wanted to work with me.
I think with anything, you need to do what feels right, while at the same time pushing your edges. If it doesn’t feel right to go full out right away, don’t. But definitely do go further than you think you can. You’ll find a spot that feels right.
Regardless if you have a blog or not, I think this question brings up an even deeper human issue. I think this is all really about needing and wanting to be loved. So much that we do things we think will make people love us, and hide the things we think are unlovable (like warts). It’s a choice on how you want to be in your business, blog, or life. You can choose. If you want to experience realness…be real. If you want to be loved for exactly who you are…be that person.
And with that, I will leave you with this…I think Cyndi Lauper said it best when she said “I see your true colors and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show. Your true colors are beautiful.”
Have you guys ever had this experience? Tried to change yourself or hide yourself in order to be more lovable? Share your thoughts in a comment below and share with your peeps.