December 12th, 2012
Awhile back I was at a business conference. The kind of event where all these amazing people gather to learn from each other and finally see each other in real life after months and months of communicating online. Where cool, creative, entrepreneurial, free range humans go to get inspired, learn stuff, hang out, drink beer, bungee jump, or ride bikes around town together.
I was excited to meet everyone and excited to be there in general. And in the midst of meeting amazing people and talking about everyone’s exciting projects, I met this girl. Gorgeous. Stylish. Successful online business owner. And when I met her, the first thing she said was:
“Hi…are you in love?”
Me: “Ummmmm…I love my life?” Feeling awkward and surprised by this question. And a bit bad because I wasn’t, in fact, in love with a human at the time.
Her: “Ohmigosh isn’t love the best?? Here…look at the picture of my baby. He’s so awesome.”
And (no joke) she proceeds to pull out her iPhone and scroll through like a hundred pics of her boyfriend. Then her and her boyfriend on a mountain. Then her and her boyfriend out to dinner. With their dog. In the car. Etc. When done, she then asked the next guy in the circle if he was in love. He was married, so that definitely counted. And she gushed and gushed about how awesome love is.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I ADORE love. I love it more than anything. I love it so much that even when I’m not in it at the time, I love it. And I love when other people are in love. But what I don’t love is when people seem to think that the only thing interesting about themselves or me is whether or not we’re currently in love. Or when there is absolutely nothing else to talk about other than being in love or how hot (or sweet, or talented) your boyfriend is. Or how you just about dieeeeed when he left this cute little note next to your coffee in the morning.
Sharing is great. Having it be the only thing we talk about is not great. At all.
So many times when we get into a relationship, we forget to be humans. We forget to have our own things going on. We tend to focus so much on the relationship and our partners that we can lose ourselves or alienate others. We can turn into self-involved love-obsessed freaks and ditch all our single girls for the double date night with our men and other couple friends. I know I might sound bitter, but I honestly don’t think I am. The way I look at it is no matter how in love I get, I never want it to be the most interesting or noteworthy thing about me.
And it should be the same for you. Never lose what’s amazing about you. Never stop having interesting things to talk about or stories to tell. And puuuuuhlease (people), when you meet someone new, never ask them right off the bat if they’re in love. If they are, I’m sure you’ll hear about it sooner than later.