January 24th, 2013
I’ll admit it. I spent a good chunk of my night last night scouring Pinterest for awesome love pictures. Or love quotes that made me smile. Or pictures of couples that made me go awwwwwwww. All in the spirit of finding some inspiration for this post today.
And as with most things I write about, it’s a process whereby I find things that are OK, but nothing hits me. Until that one thing hits me and I’m like, “yeah…THAT.”
Well today, my “THAT” is so ridiculous I couldn’t not share. And this “THAT” comes from a scene in the good old show, Gossip Girl, in which a bunch of rich snobs wearing designer couture in NYC flit around the city acting like vacant, shallow, brats. (Basically).
I didn’t actually watch this episode but the quote is bad enough to make me never ever want to watch TV again. Ever.
In it, Blair Waldorf, who has had a completely tumultuous relationship with the guy she’s in the picture with, for the entirety of the show says:
“People don’t write sonnets about being compatible. Or novels about shared life goals or stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones.”
Ok…there is all sorts of wrong with this. I barely even know where to begin.
First off…Blair is assuming that the only reason to be in love is so that other people will write about it and care about it. This is an egotistical and shallow way to look at love. It’s equivalent to dating the super hot high school football player who is vacant and so boring you want to tear your eyeballs out, but he’s hot and everyone wants him. So you feel all special to be on his arm. Lame.
Secondly, she completely dismisses the absolute most important things to have in order to have a long lasting relationship; compatibility, shared goals, and an intellectual connection. I mean, according to Blair, why on Earth would anyone want those things when you can have crazy instead?
Seriously? I’ve tried crazy. And while yes, it has a passionate and fiery air to it, it always blows up in your face and you’re miserable. Crazy is not fun. In the long run.
But what I hate the most about this is it completely stepping on what’s important in love. Dismissing the understanding that love and relationship is a journey, over a long stretch of time. In order for that journey to work, you must be on the same page. You must look at each other like humans, with faults. You have to understand that passion and lust (the “crazy” Blair speaks of) will likely go away, and at the end of the day, you have to genuinely LIKE this person you’re with. And you have to understand that your partner isn’t there to “complete you” or fill some kind of void.
Compatibility DOES matter. Shared life goals is pretty much all you have to keep it going. And while you’re going, good conversation (and laughter and adventuring together and enjoying each other) is key.
I don’t believe crazy is good. Especially when your crazy is void of all the things that matter in love.
Blair…you give terrible advice. Ladies…please don’t listen to her.
So what are your thoughts? Do you think crazy is bad? What do you think are the most important things to have in a relationship? Leave your comment below and don’t forget to “Like” and share with your friends. And if you’re not already on the mailing list or my Facebook page, GET IN THERE.