April 4th, 2011
About six months ago I was feeling incredibly stuck. My business, although growing, wasn’t booming in the way I wanted it to. And I was in a relationship where I had the feeling that neither of us were very happy or fulfilled and our best selves weren’t being brought forth. I felt tied to my situation, my home, my dog, the life I had created. BUT…I loved him (the boy…and the dog). I loved the life together that I had created in my head, all the future possibilities of what we had (hypothetically) created with each other. It was devastating to me to think that it might not work out. But yet, I had this nagging feeling that it wasn’t right. That I wasn’t as shiny in the relationship as I knew I was in real life. And…I was working a job on the side, that I didn’t really enjoy, in order to make ends meet. I couldn’t see a way out. I needed the extra money while I was building my business, I liked the security of my relationship, even though I ultimately wasn’t happy.
Every option I thought of sounded horrible and scary and impossible. Get a new job…”but I don’t want another JOB, I want to do my own thing.” Break up with guy…”but that sounds awful and scary and sad and cry-y and horrible and where will I live and what will I do and what car will I drive and how will I be able to afford my life?” I couldn’t possibly see how things could get better. I was in the quicksand of my life, sinking.
And one morning, I just woke up crying and couldn’t do it anymore. I literally felt like I couldn’t live in this state for one more minute. That I had to DO something. That if I didn’t make a change now, I would just continue to be unhappy forever. We got in a stupid fight over the farmer’s market. And then, it was over and I moved out. Sorta. I mean…there was a bit more to it, but that’s the gist.
Fast forward to six months later and right now I am living in Costa Rica and I can hardly believe this is my life. My business is continuing to grow, and I get to keep all my clients, while living here, exploring, having adventures, and experiencing a completely different way of life. I am doing things I never even dreamed of doing. I’m feeling a sense of freedom and possibility that I’ve never felt. I’m stretching myself in ways I never expected. By choosing happiness over the fear of being uncomfortable (i.e. breaking up with said guy) I’ve somehow tipped the odds in my favor and I feel so unbelievably fortunate. Sometimes making those hard choices make all the difference in your life.
Natalie (my Costa Rica roomie and good Coach friend) and I keep having moments where we look at each other with tears in our eyes, in disbelief that we are here, doing this. And the thing is…this IS our life now. Our lives (your life too) can be whatever we decide them to be. This doesn’t have to be the thing we did “this year” or the “vacation” we had “that one time.” But rather, that we get to decide how we want to LIVE, always, and we can choose to live just like THIS. How cool is that?
It’s so easy to forget that we are the designers of our own lives. That we actually get to choose our careers, our relationships, the way our bodies look (for the most part), what we do with our time. That we have choice in the matter of our lives.
And given that this is true, it begs the question, why not choose UP? Why not choose the choices that make you the most happy?
Never forget that YOU are the boss of you and that life is a series of choices you make. Let’s make fun ones. Yeah?
And with that…my Boss has taken me to this beautiful place where so far I’ve seen monkeys in trees outside my window, gone horseback riding on the beach, hiked to waterfalls, taught my neighbors country line dancing, eaten the most simple of meals every day, relaxed on the beach, and just breathed in. I don’t say any of this to brag, but rather to let you know that it IS possible for you to have the things you want, the kind of life you want, and once you realize that, it actually becomes easy. Once you CHOOSE to have a good life, you can get it. I was never one to do something like this. I never knew it was possible. But it is…it SO is.
And now, I’d like to share some pics and vids from our first week here in Costa Rica. I seriously wish you all were here with me right now. So we could have a massive country line dance and giggle and twirl at how fun it is to be living life, right here, right now.
I’m with you.
Leave a comment and tell me what kind of adventures you’d send yourself on if you started acting as your own boss. Come on…DO IT!