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Wyatt Earp. Love In Your Pocket. Daddy, Don’t Leave Me.

Last week, as I sat on my bathroom floor, furiously crying, with tears pouring down my face and snot dripping out of my nose, my face all puffy and red and scrunched up like, barely being able to breathe, feeling completely, irrationally ridiculous, on the phone with my friend, I had a realization that has changed everything for me.

In that moment, I so clearly remembered being 16 years old.  Bawling about a boy, who supposedly broke my heart.  “Why doesn’t he want to be with me?” I’d ask.  “Why doesn’t he love me?” “How could he leave me?” And then remembering even further back to months before that when my Daddy died, asking the Universe/God the same questions.

My dad died when I was 15 years old.  MY DADDY.  The one guy that was supposed to always be there for me, always love me and take care of me, always be a rock and teach me things like how to properly throw a football or how to detail a car or how to juggle and tell a perfectly timed joke.  The guy whose love wasn’t supposed to be fleeting.  He did the worst thing he possibly could have done to me, ever.  He up and died.  And he had a choice in the matter.  And he chose to leave.  Me.  There all alone.  With no explanation, no warning, no hope for a spirited return.  Just gone.

And so, as I was lying on the floor of my apartment bawling, asking those same questions of someone I barely even knew, it occurred to me that something very deep was happening for me.  Those questions have been asked, in exactly the same words, in exactly the same situations, and expressed in the exact same kind of sobbing way, throughout my entire life. That…right now, in this present moment, with this new situation in mind, that my feelings had almost nothing to do with this new person, rather, that it was all this old stuff creeping up on me, slowly, then very quickly, like HERE I AM LADY AND YOU MUST LOOK AT ME, NOW!!!

The thing that is seeping in, through all my tears are these very old wounds, of being left, and fear of a made up future that hasn’t even happened yet.  Hurt and pain that I buried so deep inside so many years ago because it was just too painful to feel.  I didn’t want to look at it then because it hurt too badly, and I also decided to never ever feel something so painful again.  Ever.  But here I was, feeling exactly the way I felt then, in a situation that technically, and rationally, shouldn’t have warranted such a reaction.

Before this realization, I had been driving myself crazy, thinking about this guy that I talked about in my last post.  We’ll just call him Wyatt Earp.  It’s crazy because, I had the cerebral understanding that very little of this actually has to do with him.  That instead, he is a mirror for me, reflecting back all the things I need to look at in my life.  All the things I need to work on.  All the things I’ve buried so deep, and have been distracting myself with by jumping from one relationship to the next, never allowing the ground of self-awareness to get fertile.  Never allowing myself to be alone for a long enough period of time to actually allow this stuff to come to the surface.  And instead, I’d bring it into whatever relationship was next and drag it around the foundation of that partnership, building a relationship on shaky ground.  That doesn’t feel good at all.  I’m (kind of) glad that Wyatt Earp didn’t put his love in my pocket so easily, because it would have been my old pattern, repeating, which I vowed not to do after my last relationship. And for that, I’m grateful.  And now it’s time to do the work.  People come into our lives for a reason, and it’s rarely for the reason we think.

In Eat Pray Love, the quote that has stuck with me the most throughout that entire book is something Richard the Texan said while they were at the Ashram in India.  He says:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”

Not surprising to me that both Wyatt Earp and my last ex are listed in my (trusty ol’) astrology book as soul mates.

I seriously am panicking as I post this.  Because of not only my fear to be vulnerable to you, still, and the feeling that since I’m a coach, I must not fall apart in front of you (“Even Coaches Get The Blues”), the fear that Wyatt Earp might read this and think I’m (even more) crazy, but because I can’t think of much worse than being labeled as a girl with daddy issues.  But growth is about being honest.  About being who you truly are.  Maybe I DO have Daddy issues.  Maybe I HAVE been acting irrationally and crazy.  So what?  I am who I am.  I’m sensitive and carry around old wounds.  Whatever.  I’m a human being and I’m working on my wounds and old patterns so I can be a better person, a better friend, a better partner, a better daughter and sister, and a better Coach.

I’m not sure what you are going through right now.  Maybe you’re experiencing something similar, or maybe you’re struggling with something else.  If you find yourself stuck or obsessing about something that isn’t making sense, or unable to let something go, just know that you’re probably reacting to something that has very little to do with what’s in front of you right now, and rather either being triggered by some old hurt that still lives inside you, or some made up story about what lies ahead of you.  And if you look inside, I’m certain you’ll find a little girl in there who is scared.  Love her.  And Be kind to yourself right now.

Despite all this growth, and processing, and heavy stuff I’ve been going through, I’m also happy.  Happy I’m doing it, happy I’m feeling it, and happy for what doing those two things is going to bring me on the other side of it.  It’s all very interesting and cool to me…even the painful parts.  And with this all being said, I’ve made some decisions in my life.  I’m moving out of the bay area in one month, getting in an RV with Natalie, and going where the wind takes me.

I love hearing from you.  Leave a comment if any of this resonates with you.  And I promise, next, I’ll post something light and fun (maybe) :)

And in light of being completely, absolutely open to you guys, I’m going to share something I never thought I would.  Evidence of my state of being lately, which seems to swing wildly from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other.  This is what happens when you’re a human…or at the very least, when you are a female.

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72 Responses to Wyatt Earp. Love In Your Pocket. Daddy, Don’t Leave Me.

  1. Kimberly says:

    Beautiful post, Sally :) thank you.
    You have the courage and strength that I could only hope to have.
    Costa Rica, cross-country RV trip… do it up girl!
    Live it and love who you are always.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey lady…thank you so much for writing in and all your support. And don’t forget that you DO have this strength, already! Once we are willing to look inside ourselves, we get stronger already. Will keep you posted from the road and I expect that you will keep me posted as well.

  2. Carli says:

    I have these days too… my daddy passed away from a brain tumor when I was 6 years old. I miss him everyday and it never gets any easier. I often wonder how my life would have been different if he was still around, but then I remember he is around, he’s with me everyday, watching over me. I don’t know your situation, and I’m by no means and expert, but if you ever need an extra set of ears to listen or someone to talk to about daddy stuff. Give me a call. I’d be glad to help.

    Now get back to your crazy awesome self!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Girl, thank you for sharing your story. It’s a tough one, and one that doesn’t make sense. I don’t think it’s supposed to. All we can do is take care of that little, sad, confused girl and give her love. Thank you for offering an ear. It feels amazing to have such support.

      And…no worries girl…my crazy awesome self is still here in full effect!

  3. Tears from the reader … followed by hysterical laughing. You amaze me with your vulnerability Sally and your talent. Nothing less than AMAZING. Proud of you. Oh and …. Watch out US is right muzafukkkaaasss!!! Ha ha ha .. Love you!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Dude…tears and panic and deleted and copying and pasting from the writer. Egads. This one was a doozy for me. Thank you for everything lady.

      • Btw, I read some of your post to Sheryl and showed her the video. She wanted me to let you know that she admires how honest and vulnerable you are, and how you weren’t afraid to just put it all out there. I agree! She also said we’re gonna have to take classes to learn how to drive that honkin RV so we don’t take people out turning corners and shit! LOL!

        • Sallyhope says:

          Ummmmm…did you tell her that I WAS afraid!?!?!??!?! That I hemmed and hawed and made myself sick about it? Thank her for saying that and tell her that I can’t wait to meet her. And then tell her that I TOTALLY agree about the driving lessons. Girl, this is gonna be HILARIOUS!

  4. Laura says:

    Oh. My. Gah.
    I don’t think I need to tell you how much this post spoke to me, do I?! It just reaffirms that all the hard work is happening for a reason, and that it is all for GOOD. Thank you for being so honest. It’s what makes you a wonderfully down to earth, supportive and kick ass coach. xoxo

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hahahhaha! Didn’t want to say anything, but that’s why I was giggling earlier. We’re all in it together!

  5. Hey Salami. This really moved me, and I’m proud of you for having the courage to speak it. PS who was the friend you were on the phone with?

    • Sallyhope says:

      Boo!!!!!!! I’m so glad you wrote in. Been thinking about you. And thank you for saying that. I swear, I never thought I’d see the day when something like this would go live. Thank you for all your calling forth and your honesty and your support and for being who you are. I appreciate and respect you so much.

  6. Bridget says:


    I loved your post. Love you! I have decided that if I think anyone has it all together and is without issues that I don’t really know them yet or they are unwilling to get real with themselves. :). Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. You are beautiful, strong, and courageous. Please keep honoring all of you and let all of you be loved. :).

    Big hug

    • Sallyhope says:

      Bridget!! Thank you for saying that and I totally agree. We ALL have wounds, we ALL walk around carrying this stuff around, and it’s just a matter of how aware we are of it and how open we are to acknowledging it. That’s what I’m learning at least. Thank you for sharing this comment with me and for being here with me and supporting me. It really means a lot a lot.


  7. Hmmmm, what’s that sound? Could just be a whole lot of my buttons being pressed…Lots of good food for thought.

    Road trips rock! Brilliant idea. You never, ever regret a road trip, no matter how many times during them you think – what the hell am I doing!

    My last one ended 18months ago and I have itchy feet big time!!!

    • Sallyhope says:

      I hear you lady…I felt that way too. Send me an email if you wanna chat more about it.

      As for the road trip…YEEEEHAW!! I’m SUPER excited about all of it. You should get on out there too. :)

      • Just occurred to me that you’re going to be road trippin’ with that big ole dog of yours! Way to go! We did our cross US/Canada epic with our dog in tow (she came all the way from Australia for the adventure!) I thought it was going to be hard travelling with a dog but it turned out to be really easy. Admittedly she is a bit smaller than your baby…

        • Sallyhope says:

          Fiona! I remember you telling me that. SO awesome! And you know…big or not big, I am SO freakin excited to share this experience with my baby. He deserves to see the world too! :)

  8. Genna says:

    Dollface, such beauty, vulnerability and hard core ‘Sally being Human” in this post and this video.

    Love it. Oh and I’m thinking maybe I’d like to hang with you and your BFF, you gals look like you have the BEST fun.

    Let’s skype soon huh sweetie?

    • Sallyhope says:

      Genna….we would all have a BLAST hanging out together. OMG. You coming out to the states anytime soon? Because we have an RV, so we’ll be EVERYWHERE! And YES on the Skype date. Let’s do it.

  9. Kelly says:

    Yo Girlfriend…you are SO easy to love!!!

    I think the road trip sounds fab! Making your way to NYC I hope!?!


    p.s. I bet some of your cowboy friends at the dance place would teach you gals how to drive a rig for free! ;)

    • Sallyhope says:

      Girl, that is the sweetest thing to say. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. And YES! I’m SO excited about the road trip. I will keep you posted on any NYC plans. Perhaps you will just have to have us over for a slumber party (giggles guaranteed).

      And YES about the cowboys. Actually…that is literally the plan. :)

  10. Amanda says:

    Sally, I think you just might be the bravest person I know!! You are so amazing for putting this out there. I think we all worry that we’re the only person on earth who has terrible days of feeling downer than down and crazy crying fits and, closely on their heels, moments of pure, blissed-out laughter. And then we convince ourselves that we’re not normal. Thank you for posting this. You are truly inspiring, coach o’ mine!

    • Sallyhope says:

      HAHAHHAHA!! RIGHT?!?! It was pretty hilarious for me to see those two videos back-to-back, thinking I must be legally certifiable. But nope…I’m just a human. We all get like that, it’s just a matter of how much we allow ourselves to show it. Thank you for your support lady. I seriously almost had a heart attack with this one.

  11. Nancy says:

    OMG Sally I could barely watch that video of you crying….tears were welling up in my eyes:) You are putting yourself out there and that is so awesome!! Can’t wait to see what happens next. Love you, Nancy

    • Sallyhope says:

      Believe me Nance!! I can’t watch that thing either. Imagine me having to edit it, seeing it over and over again. I never thought it would see the light of day, but now having posted it, I know it was the right thing to do. I can’t wait to see what’s next either!! Thank you, again, for your continued love and support through ALL of my (many) transitions since you’ve known me.

      So much love to you.

  12. Laura Gates says:

    Let me tell you sister, as a coach there is nothing like being vulnerable and baring it all for others to see themselves in you. As a woman who has been on the bathroom floor crying over a man, over all the men, I feel you. Sometimes we need to birth something and the labor pains are hell. Thanks for sharing your wild ride with us!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Laura…thank you SO much for saying that. Something you said in there sent me to tears again. It was this: “As a woman who has been on the bathroom floor crying over a man, over all the men, I feel you.” It’s so true. We’ve all been there. We’re all there. It’s not an isolated moment of vulnerability, but a collective experience. Geez. That gave me chills. What a tender moment. Thank you for reminding me that the labor pains are worth what’s birthed. I love that.

  13. Greg Dennis says:

    I know I was pretty torn up when my dad passed at 13, especially since it was cancer, and it was all kinds of fun watching the cancer eat him alive at that age!

    As far as crazy…eh, we’re all crazy in one way or another. Some more than others, and me more than most. But it’s the fact that I AM a walking looney bin candidate that makes me so gosh darn lovable!

    • Sallyhope says:

      “We’re all crazy in one way or another,” I couldn’t agree more Greg!!

      I can only imagine what it must have been like for you, at 13 to go through that. I’m so sorry you had to see that. Apparently, there are a lot of us out there carrying around this wound. All in it together. :)

      • Greg Dennis says:

        Oh, loads of fun. Granddad the year before, then grandma in ’92, just after getting out of boot camp for the Marines. Seen death tons of times. Not just in my regular family, but when you work in wrestling, you get to see all of your friends dying young, as well.

        Even outside of wrestling. Just recently, had a young lady I had just met and was going to work with die. Got news of it on 1 April. Just met her a few weeks back; we were collaborating on ideas and she was real excited about it. She was referred to me from a friend who was working with me.

        You would think you get numb to it after a while, but you don’t. Fortunately (or not, depending on perspective), you learn to internalise (the $10 word for bottling it all up).

        • Sallyhope says:

          I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve experienced so much loss Greg. I know it’s hard, and you’re right, it doesn’t seem to get easier.
          It’s hard too because I know that the knee-jerk reaction is to bottle everything up. I’d encourage you to just let yourself feel it whenever it shows up.
          It’s all a learning curve, us, learning how to be human beings. :)

  14. Wyatt Earp says:

    Beautifully written little miss Sally. Ur Somthin else I tell ya!

  15. I am SO freakin’ proud of you for posting this girl!!!
    Even though your awesomeness and bravery should come as no surprise to me by now…I still read your posts every week and watch your videos, with my jaw on the floor, stunned, crying, laughing and thinking, “HOLY SHIT THIS GIRL ROCKS!!!!!!!”.

    Man oh man, life is a trip. Filled with the highest of high’s and some damn deep low’s. Just recently (honestly in no small part thanks to my work with you), I’ve been able to say (and finally mean it)…that I truly embrace and welcome the pain. Not just the fun shit that makes me flail around doing the happy dance…but the real, honest-to-goodness, nasty, raw, pain of life. It sucks, but if it means I can feel the love deeper, then I’m ALL in! YEAH BABY!!!

    I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose your Dad. A horrible thing for anyone to ever have to go through!
    I definitely share the “Daddy issues” though girl….there’s a lot of us out here who feel yo’ pain…deeply.

    I love you for being so vulnerable. I admire you for taking life by the balls and living it YOUR way. And even though I’m stoked for you + the RV + Coach in the RV (amazing!) + crazy travels…I’m feeling selfish and SO sad you won’t be in the Bay anymore. Somehow just knowing you’re right around the corner is comforting. xoxo

    • Sallyhope says:

      Girl…you are like my pillar of support. I swear! I can’t tell you how held I always feel to have you write in and share all this with me. It helps push me through when I’m feeling scared to post something. AHHHH!! I FUCKING LOVE LIFE!!! And how we always meet the right people, eh?

      I hear you about appreciate even the sad icky painful parts. It’s a totally new perspective to look at pain that way and I like it. It sort of changes everything.
      Thank you for being here and DON’T WORRY!!!! Just because I’m leaving for the summer doesn’t mean I’m gone. I will still be all up in your life lady…no doubt about that. HAHHAH

  16. Karie Hill says:


    Thank you for sharing so that others can learn and grow through you. This is NOT easy and you have BIG balls to be so open. Thank you for that, Sally. You make us feel ok to just be exactly who we are, even if it means tears, snot, and vulnerability from time to time.

    Much love and admiration,

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Karie….thank you so much for writing in. I have a friend who always says that we are MOST beautiful in those teary, snotty, and vulnerable moments. I’m starting to believe it. It’s freeing. And wonderful to let yourself have ALL the moments. It IS ok to be exactly who you are. And the more YOU you show up as, the more support of that person you’ll attract. It’s SO COOL!!!!!!!

      Love to (all of) YOU girl

  17. Zoe says:

    Beautiful, Soulful Sallah…Salad…Sally~

    #1. Beautiful. Just Beautiful.

    #2. The way I see it, we as coaches are here to help people love themselves and live their authentic lives fully — not to be “perfect”, but to find the perfection that they already are by being their complete, whole, unadulterated selves. There’s no better way to this than by example, and so reading this I can’t imagine a better coach (in the real meaning of the word) than you here… totally modeling how to be your whole self despite any fear, and love & accept yourself no matter what, and keep going through the rough patches knowing success is in the journey and never giving up!! You are a truly amazing human being and a STELLAR coach and an amazing friend!

    #3. Sparkle…Sparkle… you kin’t hep it, girly.

    Love & hugs & sparkles!

    • Sallyhope says:

      That was so beautifully said Miss Zoe. And it’s sometimes hard to remember that in the moments of falling apart that that is what MAKES us great coaches, not the other way around. Thank you for helping me to see all of this and for reminding me of the uncontrollable sparkles. Thank you for reading, for sharing, for supporting, for hugging, for your time and your heart. I’m so grateful.


  18. Vanety Fabrick says:

    thank you for your words. as always i can relate in some way to what you are going through. i admire your honesty. and as a coach, what you are sharing/teaching is that we are all human. we all struggle, and have a broad spectrum of emotions, but it usually works itSelf out if we just hold on. you’re a beautiful honest feeling soul. love to you.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Vanety…thank you so much for writing in and your support. You know that cheesy quote about honesty setting you free??? Well….I’m a BELIEVER NOW!!!! Thank you for being here with me through this journey.

      Much love

  19. Tai Carmen says:

    I was just having a very similar experience. Yesterday, I felt so low. PMS-ing like crazy and just feeling like, “What the hell is wrong with me??” Today, the only thing that has changed is my hormones, and I feel like myself again. I feel excited about my projects and good about my life.

    As my own late father used to say (over whom I was crying yesterday, as a matter of fact, just missing him like *crazy* as someone who understood me in a way I don’t think will ever be quite equalled, no matter how many amazing people I meet…) used to say: “What a difference a day makes…”

    Also, this ones great:‎

    “Never can we anticipate being older than we are, or wiser; if we’re exhausted, it’s impossible to anticipate being strong; as, in the grip of a dream, we rarely understand that we’re dreaming, and will escape by the simplest of methods, opening our eyes.” Joyce Carol Oates, “I’ll Take You There,”

    • Sallyhope says:

      Oh Tai…I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling it too and that you miss your Daddy. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself lots of hugs. Thank you for sharing those quotes too. So, epically, beautiful. Just like you. And btw…I will be in the Pac Northwest for one entire month!! Let’s do a crafty night or something…YEAH!??!?!

  20. Christie says:

    Thanks for being you. I was just telling myself how tired of crying/moping I was. Looking forward to the hilarity that will follow. Once I get the tears out of the way :)


    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey girl! Awwwwwww I TOTALLY understand that place of wanting the sad/hard stuff to be over with. And you know how this goes girl…just let yourself feel it. Be in it until you don’t need to anymore.


  21. Dustin says:

    Wow, Sally. That post and you are so amazing on so many levels. Admittedly, it’s hard to believe a guy would reject you (he must be f’ing insane or reeeaaally into blondes) but that post really hit home in my experiences and relationships and the way I respond to situations in my life. Please keep posting and never doubting yourself – your courage, vulnerability and sincerity are to be celebrated and cherished. Wow.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Dustin…wow that comment really hit me. Thank you. And I’m glad you were able to relate to the post. Thank you for your encouragement and support. I will keep on writing and keep on sharing. It’s too late to turn back now!! You’ve all already seen my insides.

  22. Riikka says:

    hey girl- loving your post- so so IN IT myself at the moment- those daddy issues… i took care of my alcoholic dad after my mom moved away, i was 7 years old that time… so my pattern is (that i still find myself doing yet working on it to leave me -for good good) to take on a man’s wound in order to feel my strength and my progress… this has been such a tough one for me but just shining some light on it helps to move it out… i encourage all of us women to find ways to measure our value based on our connection to the divine and the spirit… the ability to connect directly to our inner resources without depending on other mortal beings (our boy friends, husbands, lovers..) to give it us… this way we will never end up letting go of our hearts but instead we learn to give from Love that already abides within us…. amen! love to you!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Riikka…I absolutely LOVE your post and the part that spoke to me the most was this:

      “i encourage all of us women to find ways to measure our value based on our connection to the divine and the spirit… the ability to connect directly to our inner resources without depending on other mortal beings”

      It’s so true. I imagine that there is such freedom in drawing from self and spirit (not sure what that means for me yet) for strength and value. Thank you so much for sharing.

  23. Liz Longacre says:

    I don’t know how I missed the video! I had seen it on your fb page, didn’t realize this was a different edited one. Sally, I don’t need to tell you again how amazing you are. But just want to say thanks for showing us all that with full expression and vulnerability comes a certain freedom. I always feel like I have to keep things wrapped up tight so no one can see all the holes in me but really the holes are what make us beautiful. So in showing your vulnerability you have allowed us all to be more vulnerable. You rock lady.

    • Sallyhope says:

      I think hiding your holes is a natural instinct. It’s scary to show them because of the fear of the reaction of others. And even though you’re implying that you don’t show yours, I think you’ve been showing up all holey all over the place and I know that that is the place that touches the people/readers in your life. Shy girls unite!!!! :)

  24. Kimberly says:

    Thank you for that beautiful and courageous post. There are so many aspects of it that I can relate to. It gives me hope that one day I too can overcome the obstacles in my life.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Kimberly…I’m so glad this resonated with you and you’re absolutely right that you can overcome obstacles! Keep in touch and let me know if you ever need anything.

  25. Sarita says:

    Amazing lady. So bold and honest- your guts are huge! So relate-able (and you already know this…) You rock miss.

    P.S. Suggestion for a light post- perhaps too light, not sure, but i would LOVE for you to start throwing in some posts about your style (with pix!). I think that would be very fun and easy too!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Miss Sarita!! Thank you so much. I absolutely love that you said this “Your guts are huge!” HAHAHHAHA. That’s like saying, “You got big-ass guts!” LOVES it.
      As for the post on style, I’m LOVING that suggestion. Let’s see……..hmmmmmm……what ABOUT my style would you love to know more of? I suppose I can just call you to ask. HAHA. Love you girl.

  26. Sally! Giving you mad props girl for this video! Talk about authenticity! You totally made me feel better about myself by making me realize we are all human, and some of us are lucky enough to be female! I loved this video, you were so real and brave! Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only “crazy” one, and I can still have it going on and be “crazy” at the same time!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey girl! Thanks for popping in. I just read your post about Chromotherapy and LOVED it. And yes…I am starting to believe now that our “craziness” is what makes us unique and beautiful. How wonderful it is that we can experience such rich and deep emotions? So, absolutely, my dear, you can still have it going on even in those crazier moments. Thank goodness!

  27. Bernardo says:

    Hey Sally,
    Thank you for sharing your heart on your site.

    I love that you are open to be with yourself (which is not the same as alone) so that you fill yourself, your heart and your life with vibrancy and even more love before you decide to enter a new relationship. I’m glad you found the real root of your feelings because you can attack the side effects all you want but until you get to the core of an issue, things really can’t change.
    I will say that as crazy as your feelings feel at times, they are similar to 6 billion + other human beings. We ALL deep down want to feel loved and fear loss of love. The question and difference lays in what we do about that feeling :) I’m proud of you for letting it out and not trying to hide it. And I want to see you sharing your heart even more fully every day so that all these feelings can naturally go away and leave room for your new life to enter.
    I’m so glad I found you and really like your openness and honesty. Count on me always.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Bern I’m so glad you found me too. You’ve made such an impact on my life already, and we barely know each other. Thank you for yet another amazingly wise and warm post. And thank you for encouraging me to continue in this journey of openness and love. Honestly, I can already feel my heart expanding. I’m loving more and differently and in new ways. I want to continue that, and am dedicated to the process, no matter how many times I feel knocked down, or in pain, or scared. I just gotta go with it.

      I love what you said too about sharing more every day to make room for my new life to enter. That gives me hope. Makes me feel like what I’m experiencing right now is all for the greater good. Thank you for being here for me. You saying “count on me always” is sending me to tears. It’s what I try to tell my scared, sad, little girl inside when she’s feeling hurt. She almost believes me.

      Thank you Bern. With outstretched arms, and a big hug.

  28. steph says:

    hey sally. are you in b-school now or before? I’m taking it now. What camera do you use? how about video editting? Any suggestions would be MUCH appreciated!! Take care, funny video!!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey girl!! I took B-School last year and am with ya’ll again this year. I mostly use my iphone camera and sometimes I use the huilt in camera on my MacBook. For video editing I use iMovie, which comes with your Mac if you have one. It’s super easy and fun! If you have any other questions on specifics, feel free to email me at

      Cheers mama!

  29. Kat says:

    Sally, just had to leave a note here saying how much this post and your vid spoke to me. I’m glad we’re (finally) talking tomorrow and I can’t wait. I’m going through some big realizations myself and it’s reassuring to me that you know exactly what that means. To me, this makes you a better coach already. Looking forward to tomorrow, girl! xo

    • Sallyhope says:

      Girl…I’m so glad it spoke to you and that we’re talking tomorrow too!! I definitely know how overwhelming it can be to be going through such big changes/growth/realizations. Definitely. Very soon, my dear, we shall be on the phone together. Til then…

  30. Desiree says:

    That was beautiful and genuine! I am so inspired by you Sally!!!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Desiree…thank you so much. And thank you so much for being here and leaving your comment. It means so much to me. PLEASE don’t be a stranger and let me know if there is anything I can do to support YOU. :)

  31. Gary says:

    Namaste Sally

  32. Gary says:

    great stuff Sally waiting on your next move

  33. Jennifer says:

    Well, well… I was googling Wyatt Earp qoutes and accidently stumbled across you blog. At the time of reading it, I was held with a familar feeling. I lost my Dad when I was 10. There is a song by Kelly Clarkson, the song resinates with me, because it brings me back to a time when my Dad was dying and I felt like I could not trust anyone, any longer. My Mom married 6 months after he passed and as you can imagine, it was not a big hit for the other 3 older siblings (never was) and others. I grew up loving my Step Dad, but I have always wondered why I keep on settling for less than I deserve…
    I had the fortunate experience of growing up with my Mom and Step Dad, to whom where so IN LOVE until they passed away recently. My Mom passed in Late November of 12 and my Dad passed (the day after I read your blog!) this Feb of 13. They are together now, and with all those that went before them… I am unfolding and realizing at almost the age of 50, I deserve what they had. That I too need to stop filling my life up with relationships that are less than who I am and can not give to me what I give back. I am not a high maintance person. So it is easy to love me. I know this… What you have written hit me to the core. I feel like you mirror me and many. I have a full life, with many people in it. people love to tell me their soulful stories. I have many blessing’s and I attempt to not take them for granted. Now, after reading your blog, I want to commend you for your Candid words and I hope your Journey for inner Peace has really taken flight. Some times we do not know why we are always in turmoil, until a complete stranger say’s something. Thank you.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Jennifer…wow I’m blown away, humbled, tender, grateful and so darn glad that you stumbled upon my site. Divine intervention it must have been. No accident you ended up here. And thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story. My heart was right there with you as I was reading it. I’m so glad that this post resonated with you. I really hope you stick around this site and pop in often. I’d love to have you on the mailing list. It’s where I let you know when new posts come out. But if not, just know that you coming here was no accident. I’m grateful for you.

      You made my day.

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