January 28th, 2014
Dear Personal Development Blogger,
I totally get it. You live an epically awesome, totally off the charts life.
You travel. You go on adventures. You have freedom.
You “CRUSH” the voices in your head that tell you you can’t do something.
You tell fear to “get a new job!!” and then you go off and travel to the world all by yourself.
You win Iron Man competitions. And achieve all your goals.
“No guts no glory!”
And some of you have programs to teach ME how to do this same thing.
Teach me how to be FEARLESS, you say.
Well…I’m not buying it. Wanna know why?
Because that word is ridiculous. And it doesn’t exist.
Because I know better.
Because I know that behind the glossy photos of you climbing up Mt. Kilimanjaro with your muscles glistening in the sun, or sipping coconut water out of an actual coconut in the jungles of Costa Rica, is a person with a tender heart who wasn’t sure if they would make it up the mountain.
Who wasn’t sure if you’d be able to produce the “content” for your blog followers who were expecting epically awesome things from you.
And mostly, because I know that fearlessness doesn’t exist.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s amazing what you’ve done, really. But the thing that bugs me is your handling of my fears.
I don’t actually want to crush my fears. Because I don’t actually believe that’s the point. (TWEET THIS)
The truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as being fearless. The word simply doesn’t exist.
There is not a person on the planet who isn’t afraid, every day of their lives…of something. (TWEET THIS)
Of not being loved. Of not reaching their full potential. Of losing a loved one. Of being embarrassed or laughed at. Of being stuck in “this life this marriage this situation.”
Even the people who love their lives are scared all the time. Like me.
And so the point isn’t to try to be “fearless” in the face of your dreams, but rather, to be courageous. (TWEET THIS)
Courage to be who you really are. Courage to cry when something is so absolutely moving you to tears. Courage to do what you’re called to do whether people around you understand or not.
Courage to fall in love after your heart has been broken a million times. Courage to hold the hand of your dying mother, And the courage to say “no…I’m not ok” when things aren’t going well.
It’s not the people that jump out of airplanes that impress me the most.
It’s the people who do their own thing in the face of adversity, or decide for themselves how to live their lives the way they want, or the people who are so vulnerable you know the words they speak are the TRUTH.
To me…that’s courage.
We need to stop encouraging people to want it.
Only when we accept that fear is a natural part of the process, will we be able to move beyond it.
Steven Pressfield said it best in his book “The War of Art:”
“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.”
So that then begs the question of “ok…welll what do I DO with fear when it shows up?” (because it will no matter what). And to me that’s the more interesting question.
Here are five ways to handle your fears:
1) Stop trying to be fearless
2) Acknowledge your fear instead of resist it, and when it shows up, let it be there and then move through you.
3) Cry if you need to.
4) Lean on people who support your vision
6) Don’t talk to people that don’t
7) Do it anyway.
And THIS is why I created the Wildheart Revolution. For people who don’t just want the shortcut. Who aren’t looking for the easy way out, or the next big “thing” or program that will change their lives.
No. Rather, Wildheart is all about the journey. It’s about asking interesting questions, and coming up with your own unique answers. The answers that WILL get you to the top of that mountain.
It’s the place where people believe in you, understand you, climb that mountain WITH you, and when you’re too afraid to keep going, they lie on the floor and cry with you.
We believe in freedom and courage and designing your own way of life. And we probably don’t read bloggers like you who try to tell us that it’s not ok to feel how we feel.
Thanks for listening, blogger. And next time you do something epic, SHOW me your fear so I can relate to you. That will help me much more than the false idea that you’re some kind of super human.
P.s. Wanna know what other people are saying about Wildheart?