March 11th, 2015
The other day I was standing in my bathroom. Absolutely, utterly furious. About something that now that I look back on it, was really not a big deal. AT ALL. And as I was fuming and aggressively putting my clothes on the hanger and throwing my shoes angrily into the closet, I had these thoughts: “This is BULLSHIT and I shouldn’t have to deal with any of this and I’m over it. ALL OF IT. I’M DONE!”
And with a furrowed brow and headache brewing, life things happened. Like my mom called. And my best friend texted. And my partner was talking to me. And I got an email notification on my phone.
And since I was in this state…how do you think I reacted to any of this stuff?
I flew off the handle of course! I didn’t have time or space for my mom or friend. I yelled at my partner. I felt overwhelmed by the person on my email demanding “so much of my damn time” and in this state I wanted to make decisions from this “I can’t do this anymore” place.
Have you ever been THAT mad?
You know the kind.
Where your face is red, and tears are streaming down your face, and you can’t believe you’re dealing with this same problem…AGAIN. Your heart is pumping. And you can’t possibly see a way out. You imagine that you’ll never get through this and that you’ll feel this way forever. That it’s all over. There’s no fixing this. There’s no going back.
It gets better.
You talk about it. You calm down. You come to a conclusion that serves you. You let some time pass and it just doesn’t bother you anymore. You work through it. You look at yourself and recognize your part in the problem. You forgive. Them and yourself.
And then you go on about life until the next upset happens and the cycle starts all over again.
I was thinking about this in my own life recently. At how permanent things SEEM but how impermanent they actually ARE.
That heartbreak that you thought you’d never get over? You get over it.
That incident that you thought would ruin your relationship? Doesn’t.
That feeling you have inside that you will never stop feeling this way? It goes away. Eventually.
That fear about traveling out of the country? It lessens as soon as you get on the plane.
The thought that you can’t handle whatever is being thrown your way? Not true.
That feeling that you’ll always be broke? Not the case.
But in those moments of anger or upset or fear or sadness, you can’t see anything else BUT all those emotions.
Which wouldn’t be the end of the world, if you didn’t also make decisions from this place.
Think about it. How many times have you been in a fight with your partner and thought something like this: “I can’t believe we’re fighting about this AGAIN. I can’t do this for the rest of my life” and then make the decision somewhere deep down that you need to leave?
Or even worse, have you ever been so upset or heart broken that this thought entered your mind: “If I wasn’t alive anymore, I wouldn’t have to experience this pain”?
And even if neither of these exact situations have happened, I’m certain you have your own version.
Because the thing that happens is that when we’re in heightened states of emotion, and don’t give ourselves the time and space to work through the emotion, we BECOME the emotion and make unconscious decisions for ourselves from that place.
It’s those moments when you decide to get a divorce. Or quit your job. Or stay at your job. Or give up on your biggest dream.
Because it’s just too much. In that moment.
And as I was thinking about this, standing in my bathroom, I said something out loud that changed absolutely everything for me. And I think it’ll change things for you. And here’s the secret…
THIS IS TEMPORARY.
I know it doesn’t feel that way when you’re in the eye of the storm, but I think it’s important to remember that one hour can be wildly different from the last. And sometimes we’re only one hour, one minute, one conversation, one decision away from everything being great.
And so this is my hope for us all….
That when we’re in those moments when we think it won’t possibly get better, and we should give up, or make life altering decisions, that we just wait five minutes.
For me…what happened was that everything turned around. After the storm passed I was more in love with everything in a deeper and more profound way. And I imagine that’s always possible if we just realize that it is all temporary.
Will you take on the challenge? Are you prepared to try this for a day? A week? A month? Let’s discuss in the comments below. And if you liked this article, don’t forget to “like” it and share it with your friends.