November 4th, 2013
Don’t Make This Dating Mistake.
Have you ever had this experience?
You just started dating someone and you have no idea how they feel about you.
You like them but you feel like things just aren’t quite going as smooth as you want. They aren’t making plans with you ahead of time, and EVEN WORSE, they text you late at night to “come hang with me and my buddies at the bar.”
And this annoys you. And so you want to play a game.
The game called “hard to get.”
So you tell them you’re busy, even though you’re not and hope that that gets the point across.
Because “he can’t just text me late at night and expect me to drop everything and come meet him!!! (JERK!!)”
But does that work? For the long term?
Does the point come across?
In today’s video, I talk about whether or not you should play hard to get, and the best way to have a smooth dating relationship with a new partner.
I share with you the one trick that works every time (or your money back guaranteed) to communicate what you want to communicate.
Watch the video and then let me know your experiences in the comments below.
We all have the tendency to want to play some games in the beginning of a new relationship.
Either we want to make sure we show them the absolute best sides of ourselves (and leave out all our bad habits and behavior like eating crackers in bed…’who me? I would NEVER do that’), or we want to try to manipulate the situation to help ensure that we will get what we want.
But are these games a good idea? Do they ACTUALLY get us what we want?
What have been your experiences? Do you tend to play games? How has that worked for you? If not, what works better?
I used to be really clueless about all of these things. And it has caused me a lot of pain in my life and I’ve ended up kissing way too many frogs.
It’s taken me some time to learn it. But luckily I had a community of friends, mentors and coaches to help teach me these things.
Sometimes it take a village to learn what we need to learn.
Which why I created the Wildheart Revolution. It’s on online space like no other.
The Coachella of Online Communities.
Inside you learn tricks like the one above. You have the space to ask whatever questions you want and be answered by various experts.
If you need help with love, there is a resident Wildheart love coach. If you need biz advice there’s a biz coach. And if you need someone to help shifting your perspective, you have an army of Wildhearts to back you up.
You don’t have to do this alone. You can be part of a community and helps, supports, and teaches each other so you never have to kiss another frog again.
So if you want to carpe the hell out of EVERY diem—plus get personalized coaching, a strong community of like-hearted peaceful rebels, and special Wildheart prezzies (and a whole lot more), head on over and grab your spot on the Wildheart Revolution waiting list. Doors for enrollment will open soon (with limited spots available).
I can’t wait for you to join the party!
Thank you! What resonated with you the most?
I have found that guys really, really appreciate when you are direct vs “I’m going to SHOW him how this makes me feel,” especially since most of them don’t have a CLUE why you aren’t tickled pink that he’s calling you drunk from a bar at 2AM to invite you to come hang out. I usually try to find a way to work it gently into the conversation, like, “Gosh, I wish I had known earlier, cause I would have loved to hang out tonight, but I’m in and curled up with a book and have green crap on my face.” Then, see, he will be DYING to know what that even looks like, and he’ll probably suggest red box and a bottle of wine the next time he calls, just on the outside chance of satisfying his burning curiosity. Excellent advice, darlin, as always. =D
OMG, Diana, I laughed out loud at your comment! Haha! SO TRUE.
Oh my goodness, this resonates a LOT with the Heartwork I just completed!
This time last year I was in the last month of an unhealthy relationship. We played SO MANY GAMES. Sulking, hiding, tantrums, guilt trips…OOF. No bueno. His games made me feel like it was ok for me to play games, and we catapulted ourselves into some serious dark places.
When I entered the relationship, I had wandered a little ways from my authentic self, my true path. The good news? that relationship pulled me SO much farther away from my true self that when it ended, I snapped back to my true self!
Now I’m close to celebrating the one-year anniversary of a VERY different relationship. This relationship has caused me to examine soooo many of my own relationship issues, beliefs, and stories.
Most importantly? I’ve begun to actually, like, communicate with my partner (fancy that!). I’m a classic “pleaser,” always wanting to be the giver and the sacrificer. Now that I’ve begun getting in touch with what *I* want and actually asking for it, I can feel how unbalanced the scales of power have been all these years. They’re beginning to balance out as I claim my power.
IT FEELS GREAT!
Thanks for sharing, Sally. It’s so important to keep asking questions about how we exist in relationships, and whether or not what we think works ACTUALLY WORKS.
Keep shining, sister!
Thank you, Sally. So simple! Never liked to play games. I thought it wasn’t “right” :) I find it difficult to word how I feel sometimes. I really liked your simple yet effective example of how I can just say how I feel and what I want. The one thing for sure: guys are not mind readers, however we girls always wish they would be :)
I can never tell the difference between “playing hard to get” vs. “doesn’t want to be got”, so I let evasive gals succeed in evading me. If they prefer to draw the sort of guy that pursues gals who are trying to avoid him, well, good luck with that (srsly, they’ll need it). Anyway, sure beats inadvertently stalking and potentially terrifying someone, maybe getting a faceful of pepper spray.