January 19th, 2015
Today’s post on “being enough” is part of an awesome blog tour headed up by my friend and colleague, Andrea Owen of Your Kick-Ass Life. Starting February 1st she’s hosting something amazing: The Kick-Ass Courage Project: 7 Day Challenge. She’s challenging women just like you to do two Very Important Things. 1) Start cultivating self kindness and self compassion and 2) Start practicing “being enough”. The Challenge is totally free and Andrea’s hope is that she can shift two very important aspects of your life in 7 days. Click here to sign up!
As I was there there in my living room, with the firing burning to my right, and the Shovels & Rope Pandora station blasting “folk punk country” music out of the surround sound stereo in my new house, barefoot and in my pjs, doing my “2014 Wrap Up” before 2015 hit, I realized something really important.
But before I get to that, I want to share something about my past year.
2014 felt like a really challenging year for me. I had a ton of amazing things happen, don’t get me wrong, but my heart felt broken, tender, hurt. There were several things that happened that I wasn’t equipped (at the time) to deal with. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a year that felt this way…as though I was in quicksand of my apartment floor, seemingly unable to pick myself up from it.
Each breakthrough was met with an even harder time, as if being knocked around was the theme of 2014. And the truth is that all that happened, in the grand scheme of life, wasn’t even all that bad. Some heartache here, some really intense and hard situations there. But for the most part, all my family and friends were healthy, my business was strong, and I had an awesome place to live.
Which made me feel even worse. Like a bratty teenager all pissed about curfew.
But the truth was that in my world…it all felt hard.
And as I’ve reflected on the theme that seemed to run through all of those hard events that happened, I realized that there was one glaring theme that was tucked away inside each of these seemingly totally different situations.
And that theme was “not feeling like I was good enough.”
Let me explain.
I’ve always had confidence. I’m not someone who sits around and thinks I’m no good. I don’t show the usual signs of “unworthiness” or self-deprecation. So…honestly, I didn’t think I had a worthiness issue. I knew I had issues (like we all do) but I never thought that worthiness was one of them.
As I reflected this year, I realized that a lot of the pain felt from my various situation stemmed from the idea that I didn’t believe I was worthy of having great things.
Case in point: Some guy breaks my heart. And instead of being like “well…I don’t even know if I believed we were a good fit anyway…moving on” I say “And he was the best thing that ever happened to me and no one will EVER love me like that again and I RUINED the BEST thing in my whole life.”
Or…a complete stranger gifts me a mint condition 1983 Honda Nighthawk motorcycle, almost exactly the same one I had been secretly wanting. And instead of being like “WOW! Thank you Universe! That’s so awesome that you’re listening to my prayers!” I say “I should probably make sure I even the score and do something REALLY nice for other people so I don’t get punished for this gift.”
I believe our feelings of “not being worthy” crop up all over the place without us even knowing. Whether it’s deciding not to start a business because “what do I have to offer the world anyway” to deciding not to fall in love because “he/she is probably going to leave me anyway” to not choosing the restaurant of your choice when asked by your best-friend because you want to go to the place that SHE wants.
And I believe it’s a huge problem.
To me…feeling “enough” is key to having everything you want, because really, if you keep asking for things, but you don’t feel worthy of getting them, then you won’t get them. And all it takes to feel worthy, is the courage to decide you are, and then the tenacity to practice it.
So I’m taking a stand, with my friend Andrea Owen and everyone else participating in this “letting go of not feeling enough”/courage challenge, against unworthiness and making it my mission to let go of these bad habits that get in the way of me living my best Wildhearted life. Won’t you join me??
And if you have no idea where to start, here is a super fun list of 10 things you can try today to get you kickstarted on your “I AM ENOUGH” journey, and things you can do to start feeling enough, right this second.
- Write a list of 10 things you love about yourself on a post-it and put that post-it on your bathroom mirror
- Reach out to your friends and loved ones and ask them to tell you their favorite three qualities they appreciate in you. Once you get the collection, make a collage and put it where you can see it all the time.
- Make it a daily practice to say “I am enough” at least ten times a day. I like to write it over and over again in my journal.
- Allow yourself to feel all of your feelings without numbing them with other people, alcohol, drugs, netflix, etc. Know that it is OK to be feeling exactly how you’re feeling.
- Try “tapping” or EFT. If you’re brand new to tapping, you can try starting with “even though I don’t feel worthy of a raise (this relationship, that new car, etc), I completely love and accept myself.)
- Pay attention to the things that trigger you feeling “not enough” and either eliminate those from your life, or decide to work on it
- Eliminate anyone on Facebook or Instagram (or any other social media) who you find yourself comparing yourself to.
- Do things that make you feel confident, happy and alive
- Know that you aren’t broken. There is nothing wrong with you. That you are complete and whole just the way you are.
- Cut out any toxic relationships in your life
And there you have it! My favorite worthiness practices. Which one is your favorite?
Feeling enough is the basis of our happiness. Being content with what is right here, right now is where Heaven lies. If we could all be kinder and more gentle to ourselves right now, the world would be a better place.
Make sure you check out Andrea’s free Courage Challenge.
And I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Where in your life are you feeling unworthy right now? And how does that affect your behavior? What might happen if you didn’t believe those thoughts?
Make sure you leave your discussion in the comments below and cheers to a life of worthiness.
Thank you so much for reading and I look forward to chatting with you real soon.
P.s. Doors to my online coaching and lifestyle tribe, Wildheart Revolution are opening before you can say “IAMWORTHY!” Make sure you’re on the list to find out the second registration goes live.