January 28th, 2011
Business. Sex. Yoga Pants.
Being turned on is the best feeling in the world (you…nodding your head, me…smiling). The electricity of that spark shooting all throughout your body, an inspired idea, a fire started inside, bubbling in your belly about to burst out of you and explode. Making you want to scream and yell and giggle with delight. When your business is going right, it’s a turn on. It lights you up. It sets you on fire and makes you want more. The feeling is addictive. Kind of like sex.
Hello, my name is Sally and I’m a Turned-On-Aholic.
I want passion, and fire, and freedom and I want it to consume me and have its way with me all the time. And the two places it always shows up in my life, are business and the bedroom.
Chickity check below to see how business and sex are more similar than you ever thought possible.
1. Fear Is the Gatekeeper
You have thoughts, desires, dreams, goals and they’ve been there for awhile. As time goes by, you keep meaning to accomplish them, take steps towards them. You even hire coaches, and sign up for programs to help push you along. And at the end of the day, you still didn’t take action. Why?? Because you’re afraid. In both business and the bedroom. Afraid of failing, afraid of being embarrassed or looking stupid, afraid of being vulnerable, afraid that maybe you don’t have anything of value to bring to the table, afraid to get turned down, afraid that people won’t like you, or afraid that it won’t turn out the way you want it to. And this fear stops you dead in your tracks. In a way, you’d rather live with not having the amazing business and sex life you know you want, than deal with the potential of these fears becoming reality. And that, my dear, is heartbreaking.
Shiz You Can Do:
Become AWARE. Knowing what it is you’re actually afraid of is key here. So, when you notice that you are stopping yourself from doing something you know you want, take a step back and ask yourself “what is it I’m really afraid of here?” It might not come quickly, but the more you ask, the more clear it will become, and the more clear it becomes, the easier it’s going to be to tell that fear to F-OFF!
2. Comfort Zone…Nowhere In Sight
I’m getting squirmy just thinking about this. Discomfort is so…uncomfortable! Anytime you step out and do something you’ve never done before, it’s going to be really scary. And chances are, you haven’t had a whole lot of practice being bold in business or the bedroom. While families all over the world were giggling at 14 year-old Brother Bobby who was masturbating, yet again, you were being told that good girls don’t do that. While Brother Bobby was being congratulated for becoming the VP at work, you were being asked when you were going to start having kids. So no wonder why it’s uncomfortable for you to step into these shoes with confidence. Doing so destroys the messages you’ve heard your whole life. That if you act too big, people won’t like you, you’ll be bad, or dirty, or undesirable, or wrong. So…for us girls who seek that fiery and passionate business and sex life, we are constantly bumping up against being uncomfortable. The truth is, it’s safe to do nothing. Comfortable to stay put. But nothing amazing ever comes out of being comfortable, so you must learn to embrace discomfort. Feel the fear and do it anyway baby.
Shiz You Can Do:
Repeat after me… “WHEN IN DOUBT…DO IT.” From Tony Robbins.
3. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands
You’re with your partner and it’s just not feeling right. He’s hard at work, trying to please you, and you’re just not feeling it. You’re annoyed and frustrated. And the mistake you’re making is that you’re thinking it’s his fault. Same with business. You’re working with a graphic designer. You tell her what you think you want and she comes back with a logo you hate. You then give her a completely different direction to go in, and she comes back with a logo you hate. Mistake is not her, it’s you. They are not mind readers. You don’t know what you want, and you’re expecting someone else to figure it out for you. Until you start exploring what it is that really turns you on, you’re going to be miz in biz and bed.
Shiz You Can Do:
Dedicate lots of time to explore. Think about what you really want. Find examples. Know what you want your website to look like, discover where and how you like to be touched. Explore how you want business and sex to feel and what you want it to look like. Give yourself privacy and time. And then go ask for it.
4. Foundation First
Your ideas are amazing. You have a million of them. And a detailed, exciting, juicy, turned-on vision of the end goal for your business and your amazing sex life. And in this dream, it is flawless and you want it right here, right now, right perfect, and you want it just to magically appear. And you forget, that with anything you build, you must first start with the foundation. You’ve got to build a solid ground before you start running on it. This involves, knowing what you want, figuring out how to communicate what you want, and taking baby steps. One foot in front of the other. Being a bold, sassy, business and sexy lady is not the easiest job at first, but if you want it, it is absolutely possible if you’re willing to put in the work. You can’t JUST want it. You have to want it AND work for it. And you can’t expect it to happen overnight.
Shiz You Can Do:
Build your business and ideal sex life in increments…small chewable bites. If you’re thinking too big at the outset, the end goal is going to feel too overwhelming, and you’re likely to not get started. A journey is made up of lots of little steps (with some giant leaps along the way). Take two steps today.
5. Confidence is Key
This is so important. We all know this. Heard it a million times. But in practice, we falter. And this is what it looks like. You work from home, it’s comfortable there, and so you head into your client meetings over the phone barely showered (if at all) and wearing yoga pants and maybe shoes, but most likely not. Or, you’ve been with your partner for years. You live together, see each other all the time. And you go to bed together every night wearing (wait for it) yoga pants and an oversized tee shirt. Yoga pants will never be sexy (functional…yes, cute…yes, sexy…hell no). They won’t make you feel or act like a bold and powerful rockstar who’s about to take over the world. And who wants to hire someone sitting around in their sweatpants all day?! Not me. In order to sell yourself, you have to feel amazing. In order to rock in the bedroom, you have to feel confident. So start doing things that make you feel that way.
Shiz You Can Do:
Get out of those damn yoga pants for crying out loud! Get dressed every day. Even if you’re at home, put on an outfit that makes you feel confident and sexy. Wear makeup. Put on heels. Buy some lingerie. And I guarantee that your clients will be able to feel the difference and your partner will grab an extra handful of that sexy body of yours. Do it.
You turned on? Leave a comment and tell me all about it. And don’t forget to share this with your homies. Retweets and shares make a girl swoon.
Ha!! #5 has got me good. I keep telling myself everyday to get out those damned yoga pants!! When you work at home maintaining that sexy feeling is tough. Let’s not mention keeping the legs shaved. Great kick off lady!
HAHAHHA! RIGHT?! Oh man…I know this because I’ve done it all. My all time low is going into a call with no bra! Now I should get fired for something like that. (disclaimer for clients…I NEVER do that anymore). And good call on the shaving of the legs. That was on my mind just today!
Girl, you totally called me out on those damn yoga pants!!! And I have so many LOL Way to get inside my head. Your site looks beautiful. You’re amazing. End scene – lol
Ha!! We all do it girl. :-) So glad you like the site! Make sure you sign up for the newsletter so you can LOL more about me being inside your head. I have a feeling this is not the last we’ll all be hearing about yoga pants. Hahah.
OMG! I was working on a similar article last night!
I know soo many people who have a hard time just getting up off the couch – me included. Having to work from home or even work in a comfortable location makes it harder and make it easier to fall into those nice little grooves we make for ourselves. I think we need to start encouraging university students to get into the habit of getting dressed properly every day so when they get to the workplace they don’t get used to being a schlump and losing their drive to look at be something different!
You go girl!
HAHAH! SO TRUE! And girl…love the idea of the campaign. It’s like boot camp for entrepreneurs in training. We’ll blow a whistle and see how fast they can get dressed before a call with their clients and dock points for slouching on the couch. Brilliant!
Hi Sally, I’m Melody!
great article! My family would “joke” about me getting dressed for “phone” clients! I slip now & again staying in my PJs (not sexy!) I do feel the difference. BTW, Mascara makes my day!
LOVE your banner.
Hey Melody! I know, right?! It’s such a “thing” that all us home workin ladies do/have done. And you’re right, there is SUCH a difference when you get dressed and put on mascara. You just FEEL better and then you can BE better with your clients. Thanks so much for being here and I look forward to getting to know you better! PS…your site ROCKS!
All of my fave things in one post… biz, sex and yoga pants…yay!!
Ya know, those Lululemon pants kinda make your butt look hot. But sadly you’re right…I need to STOP wearing them to BED, to the grocery store, to the office…no bueno. :)
So excited the site is up…you’re so awesome…and I adore you, congrats!!!
Lady!!!! I adore you tooooo!! And I agree…I do think yoga pants make your butt look good, and I’m not saying they need to be thrown in the garbage…maybe just more of a balance. Hahhahahha!
Awesome post Sally and congrats on the new site!!! I just recently stopped allowing myself to wear my yoga pants. I get up, do my morning routine, shower and get ready like I’ve got somewhere to be! Some days I don’t leave the house, but I feel soooooooooooo much better! xo
Hey girl…CONGRATS!! Hahhahaha. When I stopped wearing sweatpants to work I felt like it was a huge feat. :) And good for you for sticking to your morning routine. It’s so important to do things that make you feel good, whether or not anyone is going to see them. Sometimes I put on lipstick just to clean the house! Keep on rockin it lady and keep in touch with me on here. Looks like you’re up to some cool stuff!
I love seeing your fabulousness all lit up!
This is a great post and it’s all so true! Except for one tiny thing…wearing yoga pants means going sans panties and that is very sexy. ;-p
AHHHH! Hahhahaha! Good point Gini. I guess you’ll just have to figure out other outfits that don’t require underwear. Now THAT’S sexy. :-)
Gotta tell ya lady…ya hit a nerve for me on that one!!! As a painter with a studio at home…it’s really easy for me not to get dressed!! Even if I’m writing that day!!! ;) Not such a good idea. I mean I ain’t gonna paint in the good stuff…but…still!
I know girl!! BUSTED!! Hahhaha It’s SOOOO easy to do. And you don’t have to put on a gown or anything…just wear what makes you feel good!!