February 17th, 2011
Being in a band, you deal with tons of drama. Someone is all mad because their creative vision isn’t getting implemented. Someone else is mad because they feel left out. Someone else is mad because they didn’t get the right kind of coffee while on the road. And someone else is mad because they want to stop for the night and leave in the morning while the rest of the band wants to drive all night and sleep all day.
There are so many areas where things can get ugly in a band. When you’re dealing with creativity and ego, so much can go awry.
Towards the end of my old band Poets & Pornstars, I experienced a lot of this. It seemed that we were annoyed more than we were having fun. That we were all alone even though we were stuck in a bus together for 10 hours a day, then on stage together for an hour every night. What was once a big fun adventure had turned into work. Annoying, dramatic work where you weren’t sure anymore if you even liked your co-workers.
As I was on the road, experiencing this, I thought about big bands who had been together a billion years and somehow made it work. Like Aerosmith. Motley Crue. Stones. I’m sure they felt the same, but way so much more. And how on earth did they make it work for so long if I can barely do it after being in a band with these guys for only a few years?
So one day, I asked. I was at Tommy’s house and we were talking band drama. His. Mine. And I asked him how he made it work. And he gave me some simple advice. He said, “Do it until it’s not fun anymore. The second it stops being fun, that’s when it’s time to move on.”
And as I was at my after school program tonight, doing Rock Aerobics to Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want To Have Fun,” I was reminded of this, and how important it is to constantly be weighing our lives against the fun barometer. Am I having fun in my relationship? Am I having fun at work? If not…maybe it’s time to move on.
Listen to Cyndi. Bitch knows whats up.