Getting Through The Unthinkable

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about this week as everything felt a bit trite after last week’s share. I thought about writing about the positive mind since I just taught a workshop on that last night. Or about writing about how to reconnect to the “joy” in your life after listening to a pretty annoying (but super helpful) podcast about it.

I thought about writing about the “WHY GOD WHY!?” moment I had collapsed in my stairwell this weekend and how I pulled myself out of it by using the tools in the Joy podcast: “Find the things that bring you joy and do more of them in your life” (duh). Apparently what brought me joy was putting together a rad outfit and fun makeup and hair and going out with my friends to see a dirty rock n roll show and running into a bunch of exes while looking fly. Zing!

But as I started to write all of those posts, they just felt a bit flat. I don’t know why I didn’t want to write about any of that. And instead all I kept thinking about were the emails from people in the past couple weeks who have responded to my last two posts about my breakup and not feeling like my shiny self.

I kept thinking about the email I got forwarded from a well-known blogger who had her own “surprise!” breakup and how she’s coping with it, including creating a killer Spotify Playlist and how she’s not calling it a “break-up” but rather a “break-upgrade” (hell yeah sister) and listening to songs that would make anyone want to stand taller, stronger, and occasionally smash things.

I kept thinking about the people I know in my life who are going through extremely difficult things like divorces, cancer, being ghosted by people they love, caregiving, chronic illnesses, the loss of their jobs, miscarriages, CPS issues, and just being so sad that all they want is a “dad hug” (me too girl…me too).

And then I think about how all of these people still get up every morning and take care of their kids, reach out for help, reach out to others to help them, volunteer their time, get their needs met, sing songs, write poetry, go to therapy, go to doctors appointments and put their hearts on display for everyone to see and I think about how brave and courageous and incredible that is.

That people in the world can be in so much pain and still show up with beauty and grace and still give to others and go on living in the face of so much hurt. We are all so much stronger than we realize.

Continuing to get up each day while you’re grieving is courageous. Lending a helping hand to someone else when you’re suffering yourself is compassion personified. Showing up for yourself and your loved ones when you have to duck into the bathroom to sob now and again takes strength. And I just keep seeing that over and over in my life.

No one gets out of here unscathed, but we can make it all a lot easier on ourselves and each other while we’re here by loving ourselves and loving others. So I guess this post is to say THANK YOU.

Thank you to the people who have reached out and said “me too” and “you’re not alone.” Thank you to every person who is or ever has been in pain and has kept going. Thank you to the people who are still there for their kids even when they are going through the unthinkable. Thank you for showing the world and me and everyone around you that pain doesn’t have to mean the end of anything but rather an opportunity to experience more goodness in the world. The bright side of things. The light in the darkness.

I still do want to share with you the info about the Positive Mind that I taught in my workshop because it applies here too since it’s all about how to see the light in our lives even amongst the dark. I made a video for you that explains this and I share a meditation for it in case you need a little extra boost of lightness. Check out this video to find out why the Positive Mind (and Negative Mind for that matter) is so important.

The Positive Mind Meditation

This practice opens the heart center and the feelings of the positive self. It is a gesture of happiness. The hand mudra became a symbol for blessing and prosperity.

Posture: Sit with an erect spine. Curl the ring finger and little finger into each palm. Bend the thumbs over top of them to lock them into place. Keep the first two fingers straight. Bring the arms so the elbows are by the sides, and the hands are by the shoulders with the two fingers of each hand pointing  straight up. Bring the forearms and hands forward to an angle of 30 degrees from the vertical. Press the shoulders and elbows back firmly but comfortably. The palms face forward.

Eyes and Mental Focus: Close the eyelids. Roll the eyes up gently and concentrate at the brow point, the Third Eye area at the top of the nose where the eyebrows would meet.

Breath: Create a steady, slow, deep, and complete breath.

Mantra: Mentally pulse rhythmically from the brow point out to Infinity the sounds: Saa taa naa maa

Saa is Infinity. Taa is Life. Naa is Death. Maa is Rebirth/transformation. This describes the cycle of life. This kriya brings a total mental balance to the psyche. The entire mantra means, “I meditate on Truth, Truth that I am.”

Time: Try it for 40 days. During that time eat lightly and speak only truth directly from your heart. Practice for 11 to 62 minutes. (or whatever gets you on your mat to do it)

To End: Inhale deeply and exhale three times. Then open and close the fists several times. Relax.

© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan

Here’s me explaining it.

So now I want to know…where do you sit right now? Are you collapsed in a stairwell experiencing the unthinkable? Are you feeling strong and reaching out to those who need help? Or are you both? Leave a comment below and let me know what you do in times of challenge to help you get through. Either way, thanks for showing up today and every day.

And lastly…do you know someone who is strength personified? Or someone who swoops into help when they are needed? Share this with them to say thanks. XOXO

P.s. Here’s a pic of my super fun ladies night.