June 30th, 2011
As I’m driving away from the home of the two kids I used to nanny for, Van Halen’s song “Right Now” comes on the radio. Now, I’ve heard this song a hundred times, and I never really like it much, and never paid much attention to the words, but tonight it hit me in a way that I think no other song in that moment could have. The opening line goes “Don’t wanna wait til tomorrow, why put it off another day?”
And this is a perfect soundtrack for what’s happening, right now (ok…pun intended).
Today I said goodbye to my life as I’ve known it for the entirety of the thing. I walked away from a value set I’ve had forever. One of security, stability, comfort, roots. All of my things are in storage. I have no idea when I’ll see my possessions again. And soon, I will be in an RV, going who knows where for who knows how long. Maybe or maybe not returning.
The thought of this, three months ago would have given me a heart attack. The thought of this one week ago gave me nausea and fits of panic. But the thought of it in this moment, right now, makes me feel unbelievably joyous and excited and (holy crap kinda) grateful for every single thing and person that has helped me get here. Grateful for every decision I made that had me meet the person that led me to the thing that led me to the next person that showed me a new way of life.
One of those people is my good friend, Colin Wright, who basically travels for a living whilst conducting radical lifestyle experiments. He has been a huge inspiration for this new lifestyle of mine. So I recorded a call with him as a special treat. We interview each other. And get silly. Check it here. And go buy his new book because it’s amazingly inspirational and awesome and smart and funny and sexy, AND only $2.99.
Fear used to make me stay put. Being uncomfortable used to make me do whatever it took to be comfortable again. But now, everything is different. Instead of cowering to fear, I partner with it. Use it as a compass to dictate those things in my life that I definitely should be doing and facing. Where change used to scare me, I now welcome it with open arms. And want to give it a hug. (mostly…I mean, I’m still working on it). I still get scared and uncomfortable, I don’t think that’ll ever go away, but my relationship with those two things is now 100% different.
I just can’t believe this is my life. That tiny decisions I made along the way all led me to this. There was no way for me to know, ahead of time, I would end up here but I kept just following what felt right for me in the moment. That’s all any of us can do.
Don’t wait to have the kind of life you want. As Colin, AND Van Halen say, you have exactly one life to live, why put it off another day? Go for it. Right now.
Jumping into the fire, is what I’m doing. Wanna come with?
Leave a comment and let me know what fire you need me to push you into. I might just show up in my RV, at your doorstep, so choose wisely.
And here’s ANOTHER video of some pics from my time in Oakland. It’s been HELLA real, Bay Area. Peace out Bitch.