I’m not going to lie. Things have felt really tough lately. Like I’m walking through mud, at almost all points of my day. Where I literally have to force myself to wake up and get out of bed. And there are moments where the mud clears and I’m all like “phew…glad that’s over” until it comes back later that day. Or early the next morning. And it starts all over again.
I suffer from the introspection virus (which in reality, in my opinion, is the greatest gift a lifetime can give us) which means that I’m always wondering and aware what’s going on with me. Am I not eating enough leafy greens? Is there something chemically wrong with me? Do I need more vitamins? Am I not getting enough sleep? Or does that glass of whiskey now again need to be eliminated? Do I need to get another Akashic reading? Do I need to talk to someone?
And no matter how many questions I ask, the answer is always the same. I’m moving. I’m climbing the mountain, and at the next peak is a new chapter for myself.
I’m uncomfortable in the climb. I feel tired. And beaten down. And not sure that I can make it to the top. I’m not even sure of what’s at the top. I’m running low on water. My sleeping bag has holes. The sun is too bright and then the wind is too cold. The dust gets in my eyes and I can’t see clearly. But at the end of the day’s hike, I know I must remember two things: 1) to surrender. And 2) to keep walking.
No matter how hard it seems. No matter how scared I get that I might fall off the mountain, or never make it to the peak, no matter how much I don’t even really know the name of the hike I’m on, there’s a quiet knowing inside that it’s time to let go. Surrendering to the knowing that THIS is what I’m supposed to be doing. That Wildheart Revolution is the thing I’m supposed to lead. And that it’s already happening.
To not try to figure it all out. But rather to let it unfold. And trust that it’ll all work out.
People have been asking me a lot lately what the Wildheart Revolution is. And I don’t have an elevator pitch to answer that question, yet. But I know it’s everything I just mentioned above. It’s living on your own edge. It’s permission to be exactly who you are and feel exactly how you feel. It’s dangerous. And safe. And scary and brave. It’s pushing yourself to the limits of what you thought possible, all because you know you HAVE to.
That you can’t possibly live any other way. That you weren’t put on this earth to do it like everyone else. To settle. It’s the full spectrum of emotions. It’s adventure and travel. And staying at home, cozy under the covers. It’s admitting that thing that you’ve been hiding. It’s trying something different. And it’s learning to live in love.
I don’t know where this path is leading me. All I know is that I’m going. And I will continue to go until this lifetime is over.
I’m a Wild Heart.
Click here to get in on the revolution.
Hey there!..I am a regular Gala Darling reader, and she wrote a post about meeting you in LA at the Blogacademy..and provided a link to your site because she thought your were awesome!..I have read a bunch of your posts and really identify with you. I love how you are so honest about your troubles..and aren’t just candy coating your life..making us all believe that you are perfect..I also suffer from the “introspection virus” like hard core. I’m constantly analyzing my life, and my thoughts etc..to the point where I immobilize myself in terms of pursuing goals.
I am in a transformative stage, and am currently in Thailand backpacking for 2 months with my boyfriend. It’s my first time planning and executing a trip without doing any sort of planned tour, or all inclusive, or involving staying with a family member. It’s all me baby! and saving, planning, and then finally embarking on this adventure was intensely stressful and exhilarating at the same time..but I have done it! and I’ve been here for 2 weeks so far, and it’s intense and awesome!
I have a lot of plans for when I head back to north america..I am planning a huge move ..from winnipeg canada where I grew up- to Madison Wisconsin to go to school full time for Graphic Design and part time online for health coaching …I’ve needed to move out of my home city since I was 18 but have had a fear of change..and like you- enjoy stability, and like to stick with what I know..but I know I need to force myself out of my routines, and into a life of awesome uncertainty!
I started a blog a few years ago..that originally was supposed to be about street style, and then lost it’s way, and has evolved into me posting about my travels here in Thailand..and about my newfound vegetarianism..but nobody reads it b/c I haven’t told anyone about it..b/c I haven’t been sure of it’s purpose, and didn’t want to come across as uncertain..this is what I’d like it’s “focus” to be:
-Tips and info about eating a whole foods, plant based diet (infused with superfoods, herbs, and medicinal mushrooms..) aided my the health coach training..
-Inspirational content in the form of photos, ideas, brainstorms..music..fashion..travel..just stuff I find interesting-that I think other chicks like me would be into as well.
-Basically my philosophy on life is similar to yours..to never settle for a life of normalcy (unless that is exactly what you crave) to be kind to everybody and everything, to teach others how to notice the littlest things..and find what really makes you spark and feel alive- and to do that! and that positive energy is really contageous..I like making people feel better about themselves, because in turn- it allows me to feel better :)
I also love that you are a bass player, and have actually played in touring bands, because the #1 thing I’ve always wanted to do was be a singer in a band; and now that I’m on this trip- and have proved to myself that I can do anything..my next mission is to form that effing band already!!!
Just wanted to connect with you..and let you know..that I’ll be a regular reader on your site from now on!!!!!!
much luv! rachel
Rachel…oh my gosh girl! I have the BIGGEST smile on my face from reading your post. You are such a WILDHEART with all your courage and adventure and travel and humanness. I love it. I’m so glad you are in touch and I hope that you stay that way!
Also, I read your latest post about being a serial “do-er” and I TOTALLY related. Oh my gosh. I was thinking that today. As it was absolutely gorgeous out and I was inside doing work and feeling all bad about it. I love that you gave us all permission to not do. Very cool.
Please keep me updated on your blog. Looking forward to watching it grow!
Hey! That’s so awesome you read that post! haha makes me kind of nervous though at the same time!
I will for sure keep you updated as I upgrade my blog!
Thank you so much for responding :)
Awww it was awesome! And I loved it!! You’re a great writer.