wildheart wildheart revolution
June 25th, 2013
Rage Against The Machine. And How To Create Long Lasting Change.
I have a lot of terrible habits. That don’t serve me or my higher purpose. And up to now, I’ve beat myself up really bad for these habits.
“I’m just lazy and I’ll never not be lazy” I’d think
“I don’t have what it takes to make REAL changes in my life”
“That’s just the way it is”
“That’s just who I am. Who I’ve always been. Who I’ll always be. Can’t help it”
And each time I’d say these things to myself, I’d believe them. Like “Yeah, you’re right,” I think…”this is just who I am, so I might as well watch ANOTHER episode of Pretty Little Liars” instead of go to the gym.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I think…”you don’t have what it takes to be the leader of the Wildheart Revolution, so you might as well fuck off on Facebook than set up more free coaching calls with potential clients.”
And the problem with that, is that all of these statements perpetuate my bad behaviors. It’s a cycle. I think those thoughts, act certain ways (my habit) based on them, and then do more things (lazy stuff) that create more of those thoughts. And thus the cycle continues.
In the past, I’ve read a ton of books and talked to a ton of coaches, and wondered what was going to be the ONE THING that switched everything for me. The thing that was all of a sudden going to get rid of my bad habits, like procrastination, avoidance, being fine with “good enough,” being lazy, placing all my success in the hands of others, quitting, not trying hard enough, not taking a strong enough stand on anything and on and on. And it’s not until recently that I figured out that I had it all wrong.
Change isn’t about one event that turns the tide on everything. But rather, it’s little decisions every single day, that all serve the purpose of your bigger goal, that make the real difference. Each day is a brand new day to commit to your change. Just because you did it yesterday doesn’t mean you’ll do it today. Or just because you didn’t do it the last thirty times you said you wanted to doesn’t mean you can’t do it now…and tomorrow. The choice is all yours. And whatever you choose makes the difference between things staying the same, or things changing.
I came to this conclusion while at the gym. I was working out hard. Feeling good. And the thought entered my mind that this is all fine and good, but eventually, I’ll fall off the exercise band wagon…again. That I’ll reach my goal, and then I’ll stop working out. That there is no lasting change, but rather a cycle of making a goal, reaching it, then totally lazing out and letting myself go until the next time I can’t stand it anymore and have to make another goal. Wash, rinse, repeat.
And in that moment, it also occurred to me that I can CHOOSE to not believe that. That the choice on how this goes down is really up to me. And a different result is just a matter of making a lot of small decisions on a daily basis that all serve by bigger goal of being healthy…not just looking good. I don’t have to be the person I’ve always been. I don’t have to do what my friends, family, or peers do. That I CAN actually change, and it’s not because I make one decision to do so. But that I can change by constantly making decisions.
I have a lot of clients who come to me wanting change. At the point at which they hire a coach, they’re fed up. Tired of their old behaviors. Really wanting something different this time around. And almost all people who feel this way tend to think that change is one big, sweeping event that happens, and all of a sudden everything after that event is different. Boom. Bam. Change. Done.
And from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t work like that, and the ones that want it to, end up disappointed.
Real and lasting change happens bit by bit. Brick by crick. It happens every single day. In the little decisions we make. That’s where change lives. It’s the decision, again today, to go to the gym. The decision, again today, to feel those feelings that are hard and annoying and tough because you know that on the other side of it is the kind of life you want to be living. Change isn’t something that just happens. But rather change is something that you do constantly. Like you’re raging against your own machine on a daily basis. So go on. Rage on. There is no better time than right now, today, to make a decision that serves you.
And with that, I’m off to the gym. Again. What little decision will YOU make today that serves your bigger goal? Leave a comment below.
XO,
Sally
P.s. You ready to be a part of a REVOLUTION? One where the mission is for you to live the exact life you were put on this planet to live? If so…get more info about the Wildheart Revolution here. And if you want to be the first to know when enrollment happens, when we have sales, and other Wildhearty things, put you name in the box below.
Damn girl. This one really hit home – what a great lesson!
I’m definitely one of those people who looks at all the “work” I’ve done and thinks, “Dammit. Why isn’t this stuff sticking? Is it just me? Am I never going to change?”. It’s so important and at times difficult to remember that we are changing everyday with those all too important small decisions we choose to make.
You rock my friend. Love this post! xo
Nailed it. This was so perfect for me to read right at this time in my life (ok well, I probably could have used it for YEARS!…)
I love this: “Change isn’t about one event that turns the tide on everything. But rather, it’s little decisions every single day, that all serve the purpose of your bigger goal, that make the real difference.”
Too often I get frustrated and overwhelmed by the lack of ‘progress’. I want to see the changes right away. I want that bolt of lightening. With this, I’m trying to remember to feel excited and proud for the things that I HAVE been doing that are positive in working towards my goals. Those little gold stars are enough to make me want to earn another one the next day! Thanks Sally!! xo
Written on my mirror is “dreams become a reality one decision at a time.”
My daily reminder that I am the captain of this vessel. And if there is anything I am currently learning its that willpower is a muscle too. The more I flex it, the stronger it becomes.
And you just motivated me to hit the gym. Right this minute.
Thank you, as always, for being so open & honest. It always hits like a brick! And continues to remind me that no one is perfect, not even my rockstar life coach, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t awesome or available to help others. ♥♥
My goal for every day is to make decisions that raise my vibration. This has been my mantra. When anger, I choose rather to release and raise my vibration. It has been liberating in many ways. :)
what also strikes me so much here is the ways that shame cripples us.
having bad habits formed over time can be lame enough. but to feel ashamed of those bad habits is crippling. stops us from even trying.
and yet, i think we think we NEED to feel ashamed about them. that we should feel that way. after all, if we don’t feel ashamed and bad about it then we’re saying we want more of it. if we don’t beat ourselves up then we’re not taking it seriously.
so much self punishment.
but i’ve found that when i can love myself just as i am, and accept the parts of me that i’ve felt ashamed about – life seems to be better. and my habits improve.
purity and trying to cut the parts out of ourselves we don’t want never works.
but wholeness and weaving ourselves more together with a bit more love in the stitching works every time.
beautiful post.
Thank you so much for this. THIS is a beautiful post and I absolutely agree with you. The shame attached to “again” (as in I can’t believe I did this AGAIN, or I didn’t follow through…AGAIN) is so debilitating. It has kept me from trying. For sure.
And I’m with you. Approaching it all with love is the way through this.
Thank you for your contribution.
I just wrote this the other day on facebook:
is reminded again that we all do the best we can with what we have in the moment and that the model of punitive justice only leaves communities and individuals more scarred. punitive justice is about punishing someone for their wrong doing and excluding them from the community. restorative justice knows that one can speak up to stop harm from a place of wanting to weave them back into the community so that the community is stronger and more whole. communities and individuals and stronger and wiser and more deeply connected for having gone through such struggles together. the idea that people will behave better and better the worse we treat them must be one of the worst ideas humans have ever come up with. i am constantly reminded that loving people more in so much more powerful than it seems and often creates a space where the underlying suffering that drives the painful behaviours can be seen and acknowledged and, maybe, healed. when we are as strong in our boundaries as we are in our love, i think amazing things can happen.
100%
“When we are as strong in our boundaries as we are in our love, i think amazing things can happen”
“Loving people more is so much more powerful than it seems”
Abslutely agree.
That was a great message for me today!!! I have been beating myself up over this exact thing. I have many parts of my life that need a swift kick in the butt, and it was good to hear its small, consistent steps that leads to change. Why didnt I think of that? ;)