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Meet Sally Hope

Motorcycle-riding renegade life coach and leader of the Wildheart Revolution. Loves: Hot-pink lipstick, puns, guns, crosswords, two-steppin', and french manicures.

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Category Archives: love & relationships

On How To Find Love.

How to find love

 

Awhile back my mom and I went stone carving at this woman’s property in a town near where I grew up.

momandme

This woman holds private carving lessons. And by private carving lessons, I mean she lets us come to her house and pick out a rock among a bunch of junk, shows us how to use the tools she has, and turns us loose on the rock.

stonecarvin

Surrounding us were beautiful sculptures. Big and small. With soft round edges. Faces carved in stone. Intricate designs. And beautiful artistry.

As I held my rock in my hand, I thought, “how on Earth am I going to make something beautiful out of this rock…I mean, it’s a ROCK.”

Now, I’m not much of an artist, or a perfectionist. My skills for drawing or creating things from nothing are pretty minimal. But the one thing I knew I could do, and one of the only things I knew how to draw was a heart. Which seemed perfect since I’m building the Wild HEART Revolution.

So I picked up my slab of soapstone and I stared at it. Hmmmm…I thought. How am I going to make a heart appear out of this rock?

I figured that the first step was to draw a heart on it with a Sharpie. And then follow along the line of the heart with a tool, carving into the stone. Chips of stone flying everywhere, I felt good…it was starting to look like a heart.

But after I got about a quarter of an inch down to the outline of the heart, I realized that I didn’t want to carve a heart INTO the stone, but rather I wanted the heart to emerge FROM the stone. I wanted it to stick out. I wanted the rest of the rock to fall to the background, while the heart was the most prominent feature. And after a couple minutes of staring blankly at the rock it occurred to me. That my goal wasn’t to carve the heart out of the rock, but rather the goal was to remove everything AROUND the heart, in order for the heart to emerge. Brilliant, I thought.

And so that’s what I started to do. I chipped away at everything that surrounded the heart. I smoothed out the edges. I was careful to keep the same shape of the heart. And after about an hour of carving, the heart emerged. Beautiful. Subtle. Soft. Round.

heartstone

And this reminded me of life. And of love. And of our own hearts.

So many times, when we seek love, we feel like we need to find it by doing something, by digging in. By dating better, going out to meet more people, reading books, obsessing about it. But in thinking about it, I realized that our hearts are just like this stone heart.

That in order to really find love, we need to remove all of the pieces of ourselves that we’ve built up to protect against love. We need to remove the armor we’ve created around our hearts. And just like these stones, we don’t need to dig into the heart, but rather we need to remove everything that is around it that prevents it from being seen.

 And apparently I’m not the only one who feels this way. A couple days ago I came across this quote:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have build against it.” –Rumi

We don’t find love, we find our own hearts. And by doing that, love shows up. Our wounds our powerful. We learn to “protect” our hearts from being hurt by putting armor around them. By creating walls that no one will ever be able to climb so that we can’t get hurt. But one thing we as humans all have in common is that we all want to give and receive love. And by protecting our hearts, this simply cannot happen. So when in doubt, and when looking for love, look within. Find those parts of yourself that aren’t letting your heart be seen, and begin chipping away. So that your heart can emerge…beautiful, subtle, soft, and round.

And this is a Wildheart Life. A life of looking within. Letting your heart be seen.

What do you think of this concept? That we don’t find love, but rather that we find our hearts and allow love to come in? Where in your life do you find yourself needing to chip away at what’s around the heart. Leave a comment below.

Xo,

Sally

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Apparently I’m Dauntingly Positive and Optimistic. Know What I Say To That? Fuck Off.

dita

Today I got some feedback. On my Facebook page. By a friend of mine who doesn’t have the same belief system I do. Through an exchange of words, back and forth, where neither of us would budge on our values or beliefs (rightfully and respectfully so), I got the one piece of feedback that had me thinking the most.

The feedback was that I must be intimidating to be in a relationship with. And when I dug a little deeper about what he meant by this, he said that since my views are non-traditional, that that is intimidating. That since I know what I want, I expect honesty and transparency, and that I’m strong, that I must be intimidating. That I’m dauntingly positive and optimistic. That I just want to do what I want to do, and if the other person doesn’t support it, then I won’t be in a relationship with them.

My blood began to boil. Not necessarily because of the words my friend was saying, but because of what what he was saying meant to me. He was speaking to some of my (old) biggest fears. That the very things I have worked my whole life to do and become, all of the things I’ve tried to unwind and unravel from my past that never worked for me, all of the things I am most proud of for creating in my life, are the very things that could be intimidating about me to men. Coming from the horses mouth.

So I was all like…”wait, I’m intimidating because I know what I want, I have strong values, and I want to be with someone who has similar values? What’s wrong with that?” And, “that doesn’t even make sense,” I thought.

And after a ton of time spent thinking about this, what it really came down to for me, is that if someone doesn’t like this stuff about me. If it’s too uncomfortable to have honest and transparent conversations. If it’s intimidating to be around a girl who wants to delve into the depths of the human experience. Then don’t try to date me. Don’t bother. If my positivity is too much for you, don’t be around it. If you’re intimidated by me, then we’re not supposed to be together. So save us both some pain and don’t even ask me out. I’m serious.

Because chances are even though you’re intimidated by me, I’m just a girl who wants to love and wants to be loved and will likely fall in love with you regardless of all this. And you’ll decide somewhere down the line I’m too much to handle. That what I call forth in you is too much for you. And you’ll leave in a blaze of glory and I’ll be left holding the bag, wondering what the hell happened, and why I wasn’t good enough for you. And I’ll cry and cry and write blog posts about it.

Or rather, the old me would.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned. I do know what I want. I fiercely (and lovingly) stand behind my values. And I’ve decided that an equally strong and present man isn’t going to be intimidated by my beliefs or my life choices or my position in this world. He’s going to find those things the MOST attractive about me. Me living my life the way I want to will have nothing to do with him, it won’t threaten his life or beliefs.

 If someone else feels threatened by what I do, I know now that that actually isn’t about me. I’d guess it’s about their own insecurities about not fulfilling what they want to in their lives.

And the truth for me is that my friend was right…I am unwilling to budge on this. If my man doesn’t feel these ways, then it’s not worth it to me to be with him.

Not my first rodeo.

I’d rather be uncoupled living absolutely and fully in my values, then with someone and not honoring my values. My life is already beautiful. And I’m not looking for someone to fill a void. Rather I’m looking for someone to share the beauty with. Be alongside with. And I’m going to choose an alongside partner that feels the way I do about life and wants the same things out of it. And if this makes me intimidating, so be it.

I’m not mad at my friend. None of this is actually about him. But rather, I’m grateful that we had the conversation because it forced me to really discover what I believe. The words sent me into an internal place that I HAD to look at, and from looking, it re-affirmed to me that I’m not here to apologize for who I am and the beliefs I have and the choices I’ve made in my life. No matter what I do, someone isn’t going to like it, so I’ve chosen to live how I want.

I’m here to be me. Vulnerably, lovingly, courageously me, who stands in my values with strength. I’m not here to be swayed by the wind. I’m not here to fit in with the way other people think I should live. And if that makes me threatening, or hard to get along with, or hard to love, I’m ok with that. If someone feels that way about me, then I’m not meant to be loved by them.

And this is a Wildheart Life. A life of courage. In being who you are. In knowing your values and standing behind them. In not settling for what you think you need to be in order to be loved. In not trying to do anything other than live the way you want to live. Open Heart. Wild Heart. Loving Heart.

If I’m not loved for these qualities, I don’t really need to be loved by you.

So if you’re reading this and feel intimidated or upset…that’s ok. I get it. You’re not the first and you probably won’t be the last. But if you’re reading this and you’re all like “heck yeah I want some of that in my life” then join the Revolution. Put your email addy here and I’ll keep you updated on how to get more involved in the Wildheart Revolution.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I operate under the belief that what I want wants me, and I know that there are plenty of people out there who feel how I feel and want what I want. Are you one of them? In what ways does this resonate with you? Leave a comment below.

XO,

Chief Wildheart

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More WildHearting. And I’m Gonna Dip Your Feathers So Hard.

Well I’ve been a busy little bee up in Wildheart Headquarters. I’ve been meeting with my artist friends about Wildheart Visuals, I’ve been creating mood boards and I’ve been getting SO creative with art projects and music. I forgot how good it feels to create. In fact, I hadn’t realized that I had completely disconnected from my creative self until I starting creating again. It feels DAMN good.

So today I’m gonna keep it easy and breezy here on ol’ blog. The past few posts have been a bit on the heavy side (which of course is cool too), but spring is in the air. I went out without a scarf and jacket on for the first time yesterday. And I’m feeling light.

So I just want to share with you guys what’s been happening behind the scenes here, and say THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF ALL OF THIS. I love each and every one of you Wildhearts.

Also wanted to let you know that Wildheart Creative has been busy making merchandise for you to buy if you want to keep Wildheart close to you at all times. These are just the preliminary items. Each one, one of a kind. There will be more items and fancy pics of the items to come, but for now, here’s a sneak peak.

Keep lovin’. Keep on Wildheartin’.

Started the weekend off with some clay shooting with my buddy, Preston. 7/10 clays isn’t bad.

Last weekend started out with a bang.

Last weekend started out with a bang.

 

Then I got all glammed up for a roller derby photo shoot.

 

Did my herr. Put on the makeups.

Did my herr. Put on the makeups.

 

Then I took a little road trip to see a friend of mine in Wilsall, MT. Thinking. Dreaming. Looking at the scenery on a beautiful day.

 

Drivin' down the road free as a bird.

Drivin’ down the road free as a bird.

 

Then I got all crafty and creative. All of the thing below you can buy. Just message me at sally@sallyhope.com.

 

$25

$30





"Love" and "Cross" bracelets $32

“Love” and “Cross” bracelets $32





$10 a piece or $45 for 5

$10 a piece or $45 for 5


Quantity




$10 a piece or $45 for 5

$10 a piece or $45 for 5


Quantity




 

And I got a pic from a super happy customer. Which, of course, made me very happy.

 

Miss Ashley Jorn writes "Best package ever from Sally Hope :) Love it soooooo much and thank you for the sweet card"

Miss Ashley Jorn writes “Best package ever from Sally Hope :) Love it soooooo much and thank you for the sweet card”

 

And then I played music with my friend. This is the first time I’ve played my own songs live, in front of anyone, and on a mic. SO MUCH FREAKING FUN IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY!

 

Singing "Hell on Heels"

Singing “Hell on Heels”

 

I ended the week with a creative brainstorm session, and a mood board. I’m loving Wildheart Revolution more and more by the minute.

 

Gettin' visual and shit.

Gettin’ visual and shit.

 

Happy Friday everyone. I hope you’re having a great day so far. Have a great weekend and I’ll see you on Instagram! Also…today is the very last day my Wildheart Sessions are going to be offered for $40. After this…they’re going way up. So if you want one…get it now!! XOXO

After today these sessions at this price are going going gone!

After today these sessions at this price are going going gone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whitesnake. Getting My Ass Kicked In Derby. And Using My Own Ruler.

Right now I’m staring at a softball sized, black and blue lump on my right shin. Straight down the middle is a cut that is starting to scab over.

Monday night was my second practice of full contact roller derby at which I got slammed into a wall, fell, got tripped, kicked in the shins, and elbowed in the ribs. I knew this was coming. It’s all part of the sport, but on the way home from practice, I called my mom. Before she could even get a word out I started bawling.

It was a culmination of a lot of things that had come to a head, but the bottom line was that I was feeling beat up. Beaten down. Literally, and figuratively. Up to that point I had been working hard, skating hard, trying hard, putting out so much energy…hard. Not just in derby, but everywhere. Business, love, my personal growth, activities. And it felt like all I was seeming to get was being slammed into a wall. Efforts not producing results. One step forward, two steps back. Over and over again. And this night, it was all just too much.

And in between my sobs, where I was questioning whether or not I wanted to do derby, I started feeling bad about myself in a way that was very familiar to me. The old belief came creeping in that I’m a quitter. That I don’t push myself hard enough. That I give up. And how could I be a Life Coach who talks about personal growth and the like, but be so willing to leave (derby?) when the going gets tough, and just because it doesn’t feel good to me?

And it reminded me of a couple buddies of mine who own a Crossfit-type gym. I often listen to them talk about their opinions of fitness. They train elite athletes and whoever wants to train like one. They talk a lot about pushing yourself physically. Working hard so that you can grow beyond what you thought possible.

I see the results that their members get and it’s incredible. People reaching beyond their personal goals, feeling proud and empowered, looking amazing. Performing better in all aspects of life. And I love these guys. I love what they’ve created with their gym. But I just don’t go. Almost ever. And up to now I’ve felt bad about myself. Like, what is wrong with me that I don’t enjoy pushing myself in this way? That I don’t push it to the max? Lift as much as I possibly can? Finally do that pull up?

Up to now I’ve seen these people as different than me. Better. More motivated. More determined. Stronger. And my thoughts have been “I must not be tough. I must be lazy. Or weak. I must not push myself in life. I must be……a quitter.”

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was using someone one else’s ruler to measure success in my own life. I may not have a goal to lift a certain amount of weight, I may not have a goal to be tough in that way. But that my toughness comes in a WAY different form.

My pushing myself to the max looks very different. They may be sculpting bodies, that may be their goal, fitness and health, but in my life, my goal is to sculpt my heart.

I go to the edges of the earth, the cliff of total discomfort and fear and danger and I jump off of it in the service of my heart being as wide open as possible. For my soul to experience every single thing it came here to do. I push and I pull and I rest and I work hard. I train. Just like they do. But in a different realm. I’m fierce about it. Dedicated. Do it every single day. Fall and get back up. Mess up and then try something different. Think I can’t go any further, and then I do.

I take classes to get new skills. I read. I hire my own personal trainers in the form of coaches, healers, intuitives, and business people. I’m always learning, growing, changing and evolving. And that is no less important than how many kilos I can dead-lift. It makes me how I see them…dedicated, courageous, fierce, never giving up. It just comes through in a different form. And that’s ok. This is my measuring stick of success in my life. It may be a totally different ruler than a lot of people use, but it’s mine. My life.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was beating myself over nothing. The important things to me in my life, I never quit. I never give up. I keep going even when the peak of the mountain seems so far away.

This is the path I chose. A lot of times it feels lonely. I almost always feel lost. And although I am doing it on my own, in that at the end of the day, it’s just me, my big heart, my vision, and my determination, I have an army of Wildhearts in my life who are there on the side of the road extending their arms to help me up when I fall. To hand me a towel when the sweat, dirt and tears are in my eyes from feeling like I can’t go any further. To hold up a sign saying “YOU CAN DO IT SALLY! YOU GOT IT GIRL!” when I’m ready to quit.

I’m going on my own, but I’m not alone.

And as I’ve been thinking about this all week long, a song came to my mind. And I wanted to play it for you.

It’s true. None of us really know where we’re going. A lot of the time, we feel alone. And often…no matter how much we search, the answers don’t come.

But I know for me, I AM going to hold on for the rest of my days. Keep walking. And know that the answers all lie within me. And the more I walk down the road, the more I know this.

What we’re looking for lies within us. And the more we seek it from outside sources, the less we’ll ever be able to find it. Only by looking inside will you ever find what you’re looking for. Freedom. Freedom from the pain of your wounds. Freedom from the way you think life needs to be. Freedom from having to have it all figured out.

If you don’t want to do derby, don’t. If you don’t want to go to med school, don’t. It’s not that you should give up, but more it’s about finding what matters most to you, and doing whatever it takes to get there.

Me and the other Wildhearts will be here to wipe the tears.

Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt bad about yourself or situation when comparing it yourself to others? Do you ever feel lonely walking down your path? Leave a comment below.

From my Wildheart to Yours.
Sally

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