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Humpday Love Advice: Should You Stay Or Should You Go? (psst…you already know the answer)

We all struggle in matters of love, but I believe that we have all the answers to our questions within us. This week, Jen wants to know if she should stay in her relationship or not. Read below to find out.

Dear Sally,

I’ve been dating this guy for a couple years and even though we spend a lot of time together, he says he doesn’t want a relationship. He acts like he does when we are alone, but he still won’t call me his girlfriend. The problem is that I do want a relationship. I really love him, and I keep waiting to see if he’ll come around, but I’m afraid he won’t. What should I do? Should I leave him?

Thanks so much,
Jen

Dear Jen,

I can tell that you really care a lot about your man and your relationship, but there also seems to be some things missing. A lot of times, we expect men to be mind readers, which isn’t fair. My first suggestion, if you haven’t done this already, is to make sure that you’ve clearly communicated what you want and how you’d like to see this relationship grow. Say something like, “I want to be in a committed relationship with you right now,” if that’s what you want. And then let him be honest about what he wants. If you don’t want the same things, then that’s when to make the decision about staying or going and my gut feeling is that you already know the answer to this. Know that you get to have exactly the kind of life and relationship you want, and it’s up to you to make sure that happens. I truly believe that there are many people in the world that will love us the way we want to be loved, but we’ll never find them if we’re with the wrong ones.

Xo,
Sally

What do you think? What kind of advice would you give her? Leave a comment below with your own advice or to share a story.

And in the meantime, enjoy one of my favorite songs that speaks simply to the confusion that happens during a breakup. Feel free to rock out.

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One Response to Humpday Love Advice: Should You Stay Or Should You Go? (psst…you already know the answer)

  1. Well, I think that men naturally act a little different when they are alone then when they are out in public. Having said that, however, the one thing I have learned is that the “title”, the name, is not important. You don’t HAVE to be his “girlfriend”. If you’re TREATED as such, and all the other fun stuff that goes with it, then a name is not important. I’ve been with my girl almost two years and we still don’t “date”. We “hang out” together. A rose by any other name.

    Aside from that, I think everything else that Sally said is fairly accurate. You have to let your man know what you’re looking for, and make sure you have similar goals.

    Sometimes, you can get by in a relationship with dis-similar goals. I think my life, my chosen career path (pro wrestling and Mixed Martial Arts is worlds apart from what my lady is interested in. However, we enjoy each other, and as long as “work” doesn’t get into our time together, it’s all good. I was married to someone who shared my interests, and it didn’t work.

    All that aside, though, you need to decide where you want to be, and if the person you are seeing is going to help you get there.

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