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Jay Z. Facing Your Fears. Doing it Anyway. Bon Jovi, too.

When I was 11, I tried out for the role of Dorothy in my school play. I rehearsed, I practiced, I took some singing lessons, and I got the part. Happy ending, right? Well…..about a week later, when rehearsals were about to start, I decided I didn’t want to do it anymore. That I had way better things to do with my time than go to rehearsals after school and on Saturday. And so I respectfully declined, giving the part to my understudy (lucky bitch).

That same year, I tried out for a super exclusive dance team. Tryouts were two full days, you had to be able to do well in tap, jazz and ballet. I was among the younger group of girls who tried out. And I made the team. And just as I was needing to accept or decline, I decided that I didn’t want to do it after all. That I had way better things to do with my time than practice dance after school and on the weekends.

When I was 18 years old, I was entered into this writing contest for this extremely exclusive summertime writing program in Los Angeles (big city right outside the suburb where I grew up). I worked on my writing in my creative writing class, knowing that at the end, the teacher would pick two lucky students, two of the best students, to partake in this summer program. At the end of the school year, I was slipped a super secret note under my door and given a secret handshake saying that I was picked for the program. And guess what? I decided not to do it. I had way better things to do with my time during the summer. Like drink. And hang out with my friends.

That same year, I got into UC Berkeley. The school that all my friends were dying to go to, that was the tippy top of the UC’s, that was in a beautiful place and had amazing programs. When I went to visit, I decided that it wasn’t the school for me. Not enough sunshine (just HAPPENED to be cloudy on the day I went), not my kind of city. Too many hippies.

I could go on and on. My life is filled with stories like these.

I’m not a rocket scientist but I do smell some rocket fuel of a pattern here. Big exciting thing that I actively pursue, getting said thing, then turning it down. And then justifying it saying I didn’t actually want it anyway.

Three other similarities…all these things were out of my comfort zone, would take practice and hard work in order to complete, and I was scared of all of them. I was afraid of being embarrassed (Dorothy), or having to work hard (dance team), or driving by myself to a big city (writing program), or being out of my comfort zone (Berkeley, 6 whole hours away from home in a brand new city where I knew no one and nothing was familiar…AND I’d have to work hard).

Now I’m not thinking that I ruined my life because of this, because I love my life now, but I do know that this is a pattern and a problem for me…having fear, and then running in the other direction. I’ve gotten MUCH better about it. My best life is worth more than my fears. But alas, I still bump up against this feeling. Like right now. So here is a video explaining something I’m up to, that’s scary for me.
I’m about to walk some of my talk, babies.

I will leave you now with a quote from our good friend, Jay Z:

“How you get so fly? From not being afraid to fall out the sky.”

Taking the steps to having the life you want can be scary, but when you push through that fear, you get to fly…and who doesn’t want that?? See you fuckers in the sky.

Leave a comment and let me know some of the scarily exciting thing you’e up to! And don’t forget to share this with anyone you think it’ll touch. Awwwwww.

P.s. This is really cool…the coach who challenged me to do this video did a video in response. She OUTS ME! Hahhahha.This is the kind of behind the scenes you guys will be getting from now on.

44 Responses to Jay Z. Facing Your Fears. Doing it Anyway. Bon Jovi, too.

  1. alison says:

    Way to go Sally! Sounds so exciting and exhilerating. It’s super scary to put that out there…my dream videos have me really embarassed a lot. It’s quite funny actually.


    • Sallyhope says:

      Thanks Alison!! I totally know what you mean. It’s like we’re naked and vulnerable! But I like it.

  2. Rock that out! I am behind you 110%. Go get ’em!

  3. Hey Sally,
    I get scary stuff, though watching the back half of your video, you’d never know you were the ‘scared’ type…. just sayin’… so you’re embarking on a out of the box journey, awesome! Isn’t it freaking scary to do something you have never done and share it with an audience. So, yes, I am doing something very scary as well. (BTW – I met you at RHHLive last year :). I’ve started my project ‘hubster’ – a virtual community of buyers + sellers of services + handmade products who are in service to each other. It’s a big project and I’m going it alone for now (until I find a suitable partner). I will follow your journey cuz I’m on a big one myself. So, good luck to you Sally. You have fabulous energy and I just love your beautiful pix. K

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Krisitin! First, I just want to say that I LOVE your business and your website. So exciting and good for you for stepping up to the scary plate. I will be following your journey as well.

      You know…the funny thing about what you said is that you’re totally right about not guessing that I’d be the scared type. I have done A LOT of “scary” things, faced some big fears, and yet, what sticks with me is that I’m a quitter somehow. It’s those old ideas that keep popping up in times like these.

      I guess the important thing to know is that there is something amazing that awaits on the other side of pushing through scary. I can’t wait to see what shows up for you. Thanks for the support with this.

      • You rock Sally! Thanks sooo much! I LOVE that you love my business. I’m so psyched every time someone sends me a comment to my inbox! I’m such a newby still.

        Yup, I get the quitting thing for sure. I’ve had my share (I’ve had almost 25 different jobs in my life… for example, and ‘no’ I did not quit them all hehee – which lead me to this awesome point in my life!). I truly know that the universe gives you exactly what you need and it’s up to you to do what you know should be done in every given moment. The great thing is that the universe (God) doesn’t give a shit about your choices and gives you lots of chances to lovingly try again and again and again… I’m sure you get this by now! ;) To inspiration! Onward! Luv, K

        • Sallyhope says:

          I TOTALLY understand that excited feeling. Validation that what you’re doing is having the effect you want it to. So lovely.

          And I ADORE this “The great thing is that the universe (God) doesn’t give a shit about your choices and gives you lots of chances to lovingly try again and again and again…”

          So wise.

  4. Alex Cantle says:

    girrrl, youre nuts! you always have great ideas. dont be scurred. i think your project sounds amazing! i dont know anyone that wouldnt want to know you or hear your thoughts and ideas. a lotta people i know have this one way of thinking that “should” help people, but talking with you is always fun and you give new ways of looking at things thats not generic. youve always been so good at listening to each individual and come up with a solution(s) thats going to work for their problem. theres no one way to help every single person on the planet and you seem to totally get that.

    love you big!

    • Sallyhope says:

      AHHHHH!!!! Girl I love you. And miss you. You always say the exact thing that makes me feel amazing and gets me pumped up. I appreciate you and love you.

  5. Ambraya says:

    Sally, I’m so very happy for you!!!! I myself am on a new journey…and way stoked about it. That Bon Jovi song is perfect for what life is about.

  6. Zoe says:

    Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO SALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are amazing and creative and hey, it wouldn’t be called courage if you didn’t have to get over your fear to do it, right?? Life is a wild ride and all these hurdles just make it that much more fun and assist in our spiritual growth. Thanks for pushing your edges, it really does make the world a better place. Cheers to following your big, beautiful and brilliant heart! ! !

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Zoe…first of all, I’m SO in love with how many exclamation points you used in that post (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) That energy is doing fluttery things to my heart. Thank you for your words and your support. Cheers to living our dreams!!!!!

  7. Paulette says:

    Watching your video made me want to cry… not only with happiness for you and the fact that you are truly taking life by the throat and LIVING IT! but in grief for all the times/adventures/risks I haven’t taken in my life (but am starting to now). Fear. The ultimate door stop.

    I admire you so much for doing this… someone needs to tell Oprah…:)
    Seize the day- now. NOW!

    As the book title says “Life is Short- Wear Your Party Pants!”

    • Sallyhope says:

      I love you mom!!! Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me and helping me get here. And as for your adventures, my friend Kristin just wrote this and I love it…

      “The great thing is that the universe (God) doesn’t give a shit about your choices [in the past] and gives you lots of chances to lovingly try again and again and again…”

      That’s what you are doing RIGHT NOW, so courageously. In your (skinny) party pants.

  8. Liz Longacre says:

    AWESOME Sally!! So funny, I was Dorothy in my 6th grade school play! But I, just like you, have a long history of quitting things – ballet, piano, etc. I’d just stop. Looking back I’m like what was I thinking, I could have been a pro if I kept those things up.

    I was just talking to a friend last night about the power of life coaching and how different it is from therapy and we both said that ALL schools should be teaching this stuff, why didn’t we ever learn these positive messages, etc.! So bring it to the world lady, it’ll be a slammin success!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Girl…TOTALLY! That used to be one of my biggest goals, bringing REAL LIFE TRAINING into schools. Like teaching how to be a good person, and in a healthy relationship, and live your best life. So…here we are!

      I’m so happy that you are finding coaching to be helpful. :-)

  9. Guurrl, now I know why I love you so much! I thought I was the only one who caused drama and excuses of why I haven’t finished the things that I REALLY, REALLY wanted. But I guess I didn’t really want them since I didn’t finish, right? ;) I talk about this in my new book too so I’m so glad that we’re all putting it out there now. And your new project sounds uber-exciting! Can’t wait to follow you on your journey. xo Jen

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey Miss Jenny…yeah I don’t think we’re the only ones that do that. ;-)
      And I can’t WAIT to read your book. Sounds SO amazing. Thank you for all your continued love and support.

  10. Bon Jovi. Rockstar coaching. Big BAD-ASS life plans. Jay-Z. You sure know how to put together a freakin’ AMAZING blog post girl.
    Thank you for speaking to what I know so many of us experience – quitting when the goin’ gets good…or not even beginning at all, because of fear, fear, fear.
    Working with you has brought a new found energy and excitement to my world. I’m SO excited for you and this big adventure. Can I sneak a ride in the bus? WOOT!!! ;)

  11. Love this Sally. The idea, the bravery, the real you. Love it!

  12. Lisa Wilder says:

    Oooo…girl! Welcome to life in the wilder zone. lol… Not nearly as safe as your comfort zone, but a hell of a lot more fun. ; )

    Love it that you’ve put this out there. Demonstrating that kind of commitment to the project is going to give the project a life of its own. The most amazing things will begin to fall into place.

    Can’t wait to see how it all unfolds for you.

    • Sallyhope says:

      Lisa!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much. I am feeling much more wild today, in fact. Thank you so much for all your support.

  13. Violet says:

    YOU ARE INSPIRATION, lady!!! Wow. Tears, heart flutters, soul soaring with so much pride for you and what you’re doing!

    And, as always, your message comes at *exactly* the right moment. THANK YOU for holding the mirror up to my own drama-inducing fear of change and making me realize that I’m on the verge of so many breakthroughs. Rather than bury my head in the sand, I’m gonna LEAN INTO that fear and ride this muthaflippin wave of change!

    I can’t wait to hear more about the Fulfillment-mobile! I will BE at one of your talks to cheer you on!!!

    Love love love,

    • Sallyhope says:

      GIRL!!! Mutual love and respect and cheerleading. I am so inspired watching your business grow and so happy for you and proud to know you!! YOU are such an inspiration.

      And yeah girl…fear is for losers. BE A WINNER!! HAHHAHAHAHHA

  14. Just had to say how much I FUCKING love you! You inspire me to no end Girl!

  15. Sydney Wiecking says:

    I still remember you standing on that chair declaring “I am BIG, and I’m going to live BIG.” Yes, you are – go for it! I love that Mai is your coach-a great match. I’m looking forward to the next steps. with love and a big YES!!!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Sydney…thank you for reminding me of that. I remember it too!!! And thank you so much for your support AND for your amazingness with you know what. I love that you are such an important part of all our lives. Much love to you girl! AND…when we come to Hawaii, I better see you!

  16. Sarita says:

    Fuck yeah fucker, i love that idea! Woot!

    • Sallyhope says:

      HAHHAHAHHA…this made me literally laugh out loud. LLOL. I love you girl. Looking forward to chatting lunch style tomorrow.

  17. Hell yes! YOU GO.

    So…are you coming through South Louisiana???

    • Sallyhope says:

      Perhaps we will make a trip especially to see you! PLUS, if you help us organize an awesome speaking/fun/event/bbq/whatever that’ll be MUCH more likely! Let’s do it!


  18. Dana says:

    This is absolutely, dead-on awesome, Sally! Truly inspired, and personal thank you, I really needed to read that right now. Push back against that fear and then push on through it, fuck yeah lady!

    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey girl…I’m so glad it resonated with you! And YES! Push back against the fear. Push through. SO TRUE!

  19. Kimberly says:

    Um…just one word for you girl. U N B E L I E V A B L E!!!

    You are so going to rock this. Make sure you stop near Philly so I can meet you in person. :-)


    • Sallyhope says:

      Kimberly…you’re a badass. Thank you. We want to hit every state, so no doubt we’ll be somewhere near you at some point. I wanna meet you tooooooooo!!!

  20. Amanda says:


    My big scary thing right now is that I’ve applied to Masters programs for this fall, and next month, I have an 8.5 hour day of interviews with Northwestern – my very first choice. They are interviewing about 45 people (out of probably 200 applicants) – but will only select 9-11 students for the class of 2013. Eeks!!


    • Sallyhope says:

      Hey girl…WOW!!! CONGRATS for going out and reaching for your tippy top choice dreams and for making it to the next round. One thing that helps me in situations like this (where I really really want something and it feels like there is a lot at stake) is that I like to imagine myself already having gotten in. Like picture yourself walking to class and doing your work. Feel what it feels like to already have it. YOU GOT THIS GIRL!! Definitely keep me posted. How exciting!

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