August 28th, 2012
On How To Get Anything That’s Worth Having. And Sesame Street.
Most of the time, living the life you want isn’t easy. I know…I’ve let the cat out of the bag. And I’m sure life coaches everywhere are wagging their fingers at me right now.
But here’s the thing…dreams are uncomfortable. Because in order to achieve them, we need to go out of our comfort zone. We need to go to that country we’ve never been to, or write that book, or run that first mile that will then lead to a marathon. And that stuff…isn’t easy. And it probably won’t feel easy the whole time. It’ll be one challenge after the other, tempting you to quit. To stop. You didn’t really want it that bad anyway, right?
Before I left on my trip, I talked to a numerologist. I had never done anything like that before and was curious, and what he told me blew my mind. But one of the messages was that in order to achieve what I was meant to achieve in this lifetime, I’m going to need to work on structure and discipline.
On a cerebral level, I’ve known this for awhile. But on this trip, it’s become so much more clear to me. It seems that EVERY message I’m learning, EVERY challenge I’m facing, is someway related to this idea.
Everything that feels hard is tempting me to go home, and to be honest, I’ve very seriously considered it at least ten times. And I keep looking for excuses as to why I have to go home. Leaving myself an out. A Plan B. And every little thing that goes wrong is another pebble for me to add into the “why I should go home” bag.
But I came on this trip for a reason. Because I felt called to do it. Because it just felt right, in my heart. Because there was something I knew I wanted to learn and grow with, even though I’m still not exactly sure what that is, in specifics, right now. Because I knew that being on this trip was going to take me one step closer to the person I know I want to be and the person I know I am deep down.
Growth ain’t easy. But it’s a pain worth more than it hurts.
We never quite know how anything is going to turn out. We don’t know WHY we have to run that marathon or go on that trip or check out that new restaurant down the street or move to that new city or leave it all behind. There is no way to know ahead of time why we are called to do certain things. But in looking back, everything makes sense. Every step is a new commitment to the dream.
Today, again, I decided not to go home. Not to give up, on me, on this trip, on my dog, on growth. I’m re-committing, in every moment. Because that’s what needs to happen in order to get anything that’s worth having.
And so I’m here as a friend and partner, cheering you on for whatever it is YOU’RE wanting (and wanting to give up on). To run beside you on that extra mile. Or jump up and down when you buy that plane ticket. Because you can do it. And so can I. Don’t give up. Don’t go home. Don’t quit.
And if you don’t believe me, listen to these guys. Sesame Street doesn’t lie.
See you on the road.
What challenges have you been facing lately? In what ways are you still committing? Leave a comment below and let me know so I can show up and hover over your shoulder as you hit “send” for that payment of your plane ticket.
Sally- this is exactly what I need to read today. Especially “Growth ain’t easy. But it’s a pain worth more than it hurts.” because I am going through a lOT of pain at the moment ); and I’m really trying to believe that it will be worth it.
Jilly…it WILL be worth it. I’d bet everything on it. It always is, and sometimes we don’t know why until much later. Just know you are loved. Keep following what you know to be true in your heart. Keep loving yourself and being kind to yourself. And keep being your amazing self. I’m sending you hugs right now.
Thank you Sally! This is exactly what I needed today. After years of being single due to many failed relationships (being cheated on), and after building a wall around me that could rival the Wall of China, I let someone in my life. As I write this, I’m not sure what’s going on between us. I’m more confused than ever. Maybe I should’ve stayed off the market, then I wouldn’t being feeling hurt and my insecurities wouldn’t be kicking my ass right now. Part of me wants to crawl back into my shell because the pain of rejection isn’t worth it. But as I tell myself that I realize it’s a bunch of crap. I’m worth it. I’m worth being loved by someone. Most important, I’m worth being loved by me. And that is growth. That is something I have never told myself and believed it. I can’t keep letting pain and fear hold me back. Will this relationship go anywhere? I have no idea. But it’s definitely taught me a lot about myself and at the age of 42 — it’s about time!
YES! You ARE worth it. And loving self is one of the most important things you can ever do. Crawling is a hole and shutting down isn’t going to lead you where you want to go. So brave, you are, to be going through all of this. YOU GOT IT!!!!!!
Impeccable timing as always. I really needed to read that and I’m so happy to hear you are fighting the very worth it fight! Growing is such a painful process, it’s hard to remember sometimes what all of it is for, but it’s so very worth it. I keep letting myself fall into the “getting by” comfort ditch but this has definitely given me a good kick in the ass to keep shooting for everything I know I want (so far). Much love to you sweetheart and thank you for running that extra mile, it definitely makes it easier to work my way through my own.
Oh girl…I hear you. The comfort trap is so easy to fall into. I almost do all the time. But what you truly want, if it’s strong enough, will prevail and will make the hard times so worth it. I got your back girl. Call a sista!!
You speak straight to the soul Sally Hope. And I’m sending you a big virtual hug that I hope you feel wherever you are. What you’re doing, hitting the road on a spiritual journey, is brave beyond words. I can only imagine how hard it must be at times, which only reflects just how strongly you’ve been called. Thanks for sending some bravery this way. Love you.
LIZ…girl I miss you. Let’s chat soon, yeah? And thank you. I feel your hug and am sending so many your way. Thank you for all your love and support.
Just signed up (and paid!) for my first domain name and it was so hard! This is going to be a learning process and I’m impatient. I’m going to have to develop a greater sense of self-compassion and just allow it to form. I’ve designed pages before so I should chill out, not compare myself to others, and trust in my talents. Doubt always happens when you’re onto something big! Learning to trust the interwebs as well as my intuition, and looking out for myself in these environments are other topics that came to mind.
WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!! Congratulations lady. And I have to say, I totally agree with everything you said. Definitely be kind to yourself. And be aware of when you’re judging yourself or comparing yourself to others. You got this! And let me know if you ever get stuck and need a little help out of the quicksand. Much love.
I got an amazing offer for a new space to start my business. But now, I need to work up the courage to say “yes”. Because after I say yes, it’s time to let this thing free. And what if I fail? Yikes! I’ll want to run home! But what if I succeed?
Hey lady! CONGRATS! And great question. So what if you fail? I mean…that is always the question when we do something we’ve never done before. And I think it’s important to think about what failing is to you.
What does is mean to fail? To try something and have it not work out the way you saw it? To not even try at all? To have tried but only do it half way? Failure is something we make up.
Also…there’s a quote I like from Thomas Edison that goes something like “I failed 10,000 times before I found what worked for the lightbulb” (totally me paraphrasing). But the point is that failure is sometimes necessary for success.
Say YES! Go for it! And you’ll figure it all out along the way. Congrats.