June 11th, 2012
I don’t think I quite knew what I was getting into when I agreed to watch my best friend’s two kids (3 ½ and 1 ½) for an entire week. I mean, I’ve nannied. I’ve babysat. I’ve spent time with her kids, but man oh man, is living the life, day in and day out quite different. So far, there’s been a bloody lip and a couple tumbles. (Mom already knows…don’t worry. Teeth are still intact and all limbs are still there, as of 9:00 pm last night) I’m sure that most parents have an adjustment period. A freak out time for awhile where it’s all new and challenging, but here I am, at the bottom of day four, feeling depleted. Exhausted. Frustrated. Trying to juggle my business, my life, my dog, and the needs of the kiddos, and it has proved a bit more challenging than I expected.
And I just want to say, to all the moms and dads out there…THANK YOU. I knew how much work you did, theoretically, but I’ve tasted it first hand now. You all are loving, giving, compassionate beings. To raise, even half-way decent humans takes A LOT of time and care and hard work. I’m grateful to you. To MY mom. To ALL moms and dads.
And of course, this got me thinking about love. About how much the heart is able to grow and stretch. How fully and all encompassing love can be on so many levels. As cereal is being thrown on the floor and tantrums being had and not-going-to-bed happening, LOVE is still there. And then while all this is happening, and the dog needs to go out and my family is expecting an email, and my email inbox is overflowing, and plans are needing to be re-arranged. There is still LOVE. It might be wearing a “frustration suit,” but it’s still love.
It’s complicated. As I was thinking about it. Because a lot of times, I haven’t been enjoying myself, to be honest. And I just sit here and wonder how parents do it. How you make us feel so loved and warm and secure, while at the same time being tired and hungry and frustrated and up to your eyeballs in dishes and laundry. That must be a whole other level of love.
And I’m grateful for it. For you.
For all the moms out there, or anyone who resonates with this, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. How DO you continue to love even when you don’t feel like it? What does this kind of love feel like to you? What makes it all worth it? Leave a comment below and share whatever pops in your mind about this.
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