April 30th, 2012
In my opinion, Luke Bryan is one of the hottest new artists in country music. Literally and figuratively. And this weekend, I found myself watching him on stage at Southern California’s biggest country music festival, Stagecoach.
But instead of simply just enjoying the eye candy, great music, and killer entertainment that that hottie put forth on stage, I found myself feeling extremely jealous. Of everything. Of how much fun he looked like he was having on stage. Jealous of his wife, who I figured must be the luckiest woman on the planet. Jealous of his life. And then that extended over to everyone I saw in the crowd. Jealous that they were 22 and I’m not, or in a relationship, or had a better body or hair, etc etc.
It was a mess. And then I felt bad about myself.
You see, I used to be that. I used to be up on stage, touring, having fun, playing music, performing. I also used to be the girlfriend of the lead singer of an amazing, touring band that I’m sure thousands of girls were jealous of. And looking back on it now, this weekend I think I saw myself as someone who USED to be doing something amazing. “I used to BE somebody,” I thought. In many people’s eyes, I was probably living the dream.
So why on Earth did I leave it all behind? Why did I leave music? Why did I leave my relationship? I kept asking myself these questions this weekend. And remembered that when you have time and distance away from something, it’s so easy to only see the good stuff, but I realized that I left it behind because it wasn’t right for me. Sometimes the “idea” of the thing is better than the thing itself.
I have the tendency to look at my life from the outside in, thinking “if I only had (fill in the blank), my life would be perfect.” And coming from this place, it’s easy to become jealous…often.
And I know you know what I’m talking about.
You see someone who is doing something awesome. Something that YOU want to be doing. That you THOUGHT you’d be doing by now. But yet you’re not. And so you see them, and immediately start comparing yourself to them. And feeling bad about yourself.
“They must be way more disciplined than me.”
“Their stuff isn’t even THAT good.”
“They must be more talented than me, have more money than me, have more contacts than me, have a better (whatever) than me, have a more supportive partner than me,” and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON.
I do this and I know you do to. Because it’s not just a Scorpio thing. It’s a human thing. And it’s an epidemic. Found among smart, talented, creative, ambitious people. People who want more. Who live in a world beyond norms. Who strive to be their best selves. But what happens when this epidemic hits is that just simply by comparing ourselves to others, we are intrinsically denying all of this great stuff to happen for us.
Because in this comparison game, WE will never win. Because there will ALWAYS be someone better than us. No matter how good we get, how talented we are, how pretty we feel, how good at yoga we are…there will always be someone better.
And there is nothing wrong with that because life isn’t about being better than everyone. It’s about being the best YOU you can be. It’s about setting your goals high and doing the very best you can to reach them. It’s about affecting people the way YOU want to affect them.
When I was in a band, I knew my biggest asset there was access. I had access to a lot of people that I could then spread my message to. The message of being a good person, loving yourself, doing the things that matter in your life and that spark you, and living your dreams. But the actual act of playing music wasn’t my ultimate dream. Inspiring people was and still is. Which is exactly what I’m doing now.
We create our lives. I’m here because somewhere along the line I decided to be here. I’m not playing music because I decided not to. And I’m guessing the same is true for you. I know sometimes it’s hard to see but where you are is exactly where you should be. Always moving and growing, even when you feel stagnate.
And perhaps the reason we aren’t where we want to be yet is because it isn’t our time. We haven’t learned what we need to learn. We haven’t experienced what we need to experience. And…we don’t see that where we are right now, in this moment, reading this blog, is exactly where we need to be. There’s no need to be jealous. We don’t need to search to find what we’re looking for. What we want, wants us, and it’ll find us. All we have to do is keep living life. Keeping stretching beyond our comfort zone. And keep the jealousy at bay. We’re perfect exactly the way we are. Our gift to the world is unique to us. And it’s been there all along.
It’s time to shine.
Have you been finding yourself jealous of anything or anyone lately. Tell me I’m not alone here in the jealousy crowd! Leave a comment below.
Also…here’s that hottie…you’re welcome.