January 8th, 2015
Change Starts Here (no…seriously)
Girls Guide To Making REAL Changes
Last night I did something that I do almost every night before bed.
I wash my face, brush my teeth, put on chapstick, and then I go to get into my pajamas. And then…I promptly throw all of my clothes on the floor.
To be fair, it’s not like I actually throw them. It’s more like I let them fall to the floor and then I don’t pick them up. Sometimes for days. Or weeks.
I’ll sometimes let my clothes pile up so much that I don’t even bother going to my drawers when I want to get dressed for the day since I know all my favorite things are likely in a pile on the floor, or strewn across my vanity, or draped over a chair, or right on the bathroom floor where I left them when I got into the shower.
To me…it hasn’t been a huge priority of mine to neatly fold all of my clothes every single time I take them off. And plus, I’ve lived alone for so long that I don’t have anyone to impress or “clean up for” or anyone to have to teach what is or isn’t an ok place to leave your clothing.
And so my bedroom almost always tends to look like someone who is going through their entire wardrobe and making piles of what to take to the thrift store and what to keep.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had thoughts before like “I should really be better about putting away my clothes” or “yeah…I really DO like it so much better in here when things are put away” but somehow, neither of those feelings are strong enough to motivate me to do something about it on a regular basis.
So…laundry party for me! Or lack thereof, rather.
And all of this was fine and dandy until last night. As I watched myself carelessly leave my belongings on the floor, even though in my new house they absolutely all have an organized home to go to, I remembered something.
I remembered a phrase I had heard many times along my journey.
“HOW YOU DO ONE THING, IS HOW YOU DO EVERYTHING.” (tweet this!)
This flashed in my mind along with all my New Years intentions to do things differently this year. And all the thoughts I recently had (and the lesson I wrote only hours previous to my private Wildheart Community about how to create REAL change in your life (hint…it’s by changing your habits by doing the opposite of what you usually do).
And in that moment, everything came to a head.
I may not care about clothes on the floor, but what is this act signifying? It’s saying “eh….I don’t want to handle it…I’ll do it later.” And what happens? Later never comes. Well…I mean, it does come, but not until it’s forced to come either by company coming over or by me getting so disgusted with the state of my bedroom that I HAVE to do something.
Letting my clothes sit on the floor for days or weeks is an act of avoidance. An “I’ll do it later.” And since I know that “how you do one thing is how you do everything” I knew that I must be putting off a lot of other things in my life, that are likely way more important than whether or not my clothes end up in their drawers.
And thoughts rushed through my mind. Of all the things I’m currently avoiding. Of my knee jerk reaction to do just that when certain things show up. To slough off responsibility and say “oh…it’s fine…I’ll do it later.”
Tell that to my unopened mail that’s been sitting in my entry way for weeks. Or that phone call to a good friend I meant to return back in November. Or that gym practice I said I’d start “after all the craziness from the holidays die down.”
We are all so obsessed with “later” that the exact behaviors keeping us there create ONLY more “laters.” Because even if I pick up the pile of clothes on my floor, unless I’ve actually changed the root of the habit that got them there in the first place, the next time I get into my pajamas there will be a whole new pile.
This internal conversation happened quickly. And within five minutes, I picked up all my clothes, hung them up, put the laundry in the laundry basket, organized the closet (quickly), went into the kitchen and shut all the cabinet doors (that’s another habit I have…leaving them wide open), stacked on the dishes, and then I went to bed.
When I woke up…my house was orderly, neat, clean. And so I cooked breakfast, did the dishes, and went to my kundalini yoga class.
Change is in the little things we do every day that make that change happen. (tweet this!)
It’s in the decision to pick up the clothes off the floor even when I don’t really care or feel like it. To shut the kitchen cabinets when I notice them open even when they are ALL the way on the other side of the room.
Me avoiding this stuff is synonymous with me avoiding anything in my life. And by continuing those habits, I perpetuate the bigger problem of avoiding things that actually matter. Like my dreams and goals.
Change is a practice, just like anything else. Just like playing guitar. Or learning marketing skills for your business. Or learning how to meditate.
You have to do it over and over again in order for it to make a difference. And when you find yourself not doing it, you notice, and then you get back on the horse.
Last night…that’s what happened. I’m pretty sure that from here on out, I won’t pick up my clothes every single day, but last night was a turning point. A noticing that the way I’ve been doing things doesn’t support the things I want most in my life. And a change needs to happen.
Little by little. Piece of clothing by piece of clothing. Until always doing it is the new norm.
And this is a Wildheart life. It’s in the noticing. The dedication to trying to do things differently. To deciding what it is you want and be willing and open to learning the lessons to get there.
That’s why I created the Wildheart Revolution as an ongoing coaching and lifestyle tribe and community. To help us all notice these inconsistencies and be there to help you course correct.
It’s like the angel on your shoulder, except your angel is a group of amazing and dynamic badasses, plus three coaches at the top of their game.
Registration for Wildheart is going on RIGHT NOW and is time sensitive. If this resonates with you, then you’re a Wildheart. Join the group that will help you live these practices every damn day.
And in the meantime, here’s a little “#heartwork” (or homework…if you will):
Ask yourself: What is my “leaving my clothes on the floor”? Meaning…what is the thing that I’m doing that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it’s all part of a bigger picture of something I don’t want in my life?
Share: I’d love to hear what you come up with. Leave your answers in the comments below.
Cheers to a “clothes free” floor!
Oh my goodness, this post was soooo me! I have the same bad habit as you and this post really opened my eyes. Thanks for posting this :)
Hey Iida! Thanks so much for your comment and I’m glad we’re all in the same boat here. What resonated with you the most??
Gah! You caught me! I do this all. the. time. I keep making excuses about my laundry. I’m probably going to hire someone long term but until then, I’ll do it and enjoy clean HUNG UP clothes.
HAHAH! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who throws my clothes on the floor. It’s been a lifelong habit. Seriously! Don’t know what my problem is but I’m determined to change it! I gave myself a 30 day challenge of no clothes on the floor. So far so good and it feels AWESOME and is bleeding into the other avoiding things…like mail. :)
I love your idea for a laundry employee. Sending you a clothes free floor kinda day! :)
I’ve been putting myself last, prioritising others needs rather than my own and time and time again I seemyself feeling down/upset/uneasy because I just do things for others and don’t hear my own needs. It’s been tough especially because I’ve had a baby and so much of me is given to him, but my dedication and love to him put things in perspective for me. I need to be at my very best so I can rock at being the best mom for him and overall a better/happier person. Since coming to this realisation my days have been much happier and stress free. It’s so much about how we change our paradigms and our little actions simply transform the whole. Thank you for such an inspiring post! Xxx
Hey girl…wow I love everything you said and how you took us through the journey of discovering this for yourself. Amazing. Your little one is so lucky to have such a conscious mom!
I loved this part, especially: “It’s so much about how we change our paradigms and our little actions simply transform the whole.”
It’s SO true. Little changes every day create big ones. Totally. Keep on rockin lil mama!
Sally, you could have titled this “Hey Kelly, this is about you!” … that’s how much I could relate to this blog post!!
I am so guilty of doing the laundry thing too… it’s my biggest chore that I never take care of around my house, but when I do finally deal with it and get it under control, I feel so much better about it.
And the laundry really is just a minor thing in this pattern I’ve created. If I have tough things to deal with or things I have to do but don’t want to do, I will do whatever I can to put them off. Everything from my laundry to making a important phone calls that I have put off for weeks now! (#notgood lol).
So, anyways, thank you for this blog post. I literally just calendared in time on my schedule tomorrow to make the past-due important call that I need to make. I am not putting it off another week!!