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Motorcycle-riding renegade life coach and leader of the Wildheart Revolution. Loves: Hot-pink lipstick, puns, guns, crosswords, two-steppin', and french manicures.

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Category Archives: advice

If you want a different result in your life, do the opposite of what you normally do

opposite day

I would bet my best cowgirl boots that you…want something.

Maybe you’ve wanted it for awhile and it aches in your belly or your chest as a longing to have. Maybe it’s a new desire that that is slowly (then quickly) revealing itself to you. Maybe it feels exciting to want it. Maybe it feels like heartbreak.

The act of wanting is such a pure thing. You get a feeling, a desire, and your body and your mind says “YES. THAT.”

But then something else happens right after that.

You doubt. You wonder “how am I ever going to get there…it seems so impossible.” Or “what if I change my mind?” or “I’m not good enough/smart enough/pretty enough/deserving enough to have that” or “what if I end up doing it and it still isn’t the answer?” Or you think “I’m not allowed to have that” whether that’s a self-imposed decision or one you picked up from your family or peer group.

And then at this point, you have a choice. To follow the “YES. THAT” feeling, or the “it seems so impossible” one. I wish I had better statistics, but from what I’ve seen, most of us spend a lot of our lives wanting “YES. THAT” but actually making choices that align more with “it seems so impossible.”

And then we all wonder why we don’t feel happy and fulfilled or have the life we truly want. We wonder why “it’s not happening for me.” And we then use that thought to prove that it is, in fact, so impossible.

But that’s not true. It’s not the case. Instead, the truth is that you’re getting exactly the thing you’re putting your attention and making choices toward. If you choose options aligned with “that’s so impossible” you’ll keep finding that it’s impossible.

So you might now be all like “Ummmm…yeaaaaah…ok so what do I do about that?”

And the answer is actually really really simple. And it is something that I was reminded of yesterday during an office hours chat with one of my members of the Wildheart Revolution.

And it reminds me of a game that we all used to play when we were kids. Remember “Opposite Day?” It’s where everything you said and did was to be the opposite. So if I told my mom “I really love it when you ground me…OPPOSITE DAY!” I am basically saying that I absolutely do NOT love it when she grounds me.

Well, the answer to the above question is similar to this game…

If you are finding the same undesirable result in your life and not getting what you’re wanting, then do the opposite of what you normally do. (TWEET THIS!)

So for example if what you’re really wanting is a successful and popular blog, but instead of writing you find a million excuses why you can’t (including drinking wine with your roommates), then the opposite of that would be to make the choice to write instead of drink.

If what you want is an amazingly beautiful, mind-blowing relationship, but you never leave the house and go talk to people, then the opposite of that would be to get out more.

The trick of the trade is to make all your decisions aligned with the thing you truly want, and by doing that, you make it happen.

You down to practice playing opposite day this week? This is how it works:

1) Discover what you’re unhappy with right this minute (boyfriend, job, kids, etc)

2) Think about what you would “normally” do in that particular situation

3) Do the opposite of that

4) See what happens

So I’m curious…what is something you’ve been wanting? And how much are your choices and behaviors aligned with that? And if they’re not aligned, what would be the “opposite”?

I’d love to hear from you so if you’d like to join in on the convo, hope on over to the comments below the blog and chime in and if you need help working through this exercise, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Have a great weekend! (not opposite day)
Sally

 

Football. A Supermodel. And the Secret Ingredients To “Making It.”

blog 7.9

Don’t fall over in your chair or anything, but this weekend I was watching a “behind the scenes” profile on football quarterback, Tom Brady.

Now…I haven’t been much of a sports fan up until this point. I’ve watched a Super Bowl or two, had beers on Sundays with my buddies who were watching the games. I thoroughly enjoy going to a baseball game.

But I’m not the girl that you’ll usually find in front of the TV watching a show on sports on a Sunday morning, but last weekend it happened.

And what’s even more surprising is that I got way into it.

It was a show all about the story of Tom Brady. Quarterback of the New England Patriots. Winner of four (out of six) Super Bowls and three MVP Super Bowl awards. He helped set the record for the longest consecutive win streak in NFL history with 21 straight wins over two seasons. He has thrown more passing yards and touchdowns than any quarterback in NFL postseason history. He’s known as the “comeback kid’ for being able to bring his team up from being behind, and winning the game and I could go on and on. Plus…he’s married to a supermodel.

He is basically life’s golden child, and considered by many to be one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.

But it wasn’t always this way.

In his early career, he wasn’t considered much of anything. His stats weren’t great. He was too skinny, too slow. He was said to have an “ok arm” and a “not very tight spiral.” One coach even said that it looked like he had never seen a weight room.

So when the NFL draft came around in 2000, no one was exactly chomping at the bit to get him on their team.

6 rounds of draft picks went down (that’s 198 players were picked by other teams) before he was finally selected. He was only 56 players away from being picked dead last.

So how did a too skinny, too slow, ok arm, go on to being one of the best quarterbacks of all time and what can we all learn from it?

This is the question that had me staring at the TV instead of walking on the beach last Sunday morning (don’t worry…I walked on the beach after). And it’s one that I think merits us all to look at. Especially those of us who have our own businesses or our own dreams that feel big and impossible.

Tom Brady’s story was wildly inspiring to me, and there are four major takeaways I can see as his secret to success. I believe if we all incorporate these ideas into our businesses, we can all have NFL Highlight-like careers.

Let’s dive in to the four secret weapons of success as learned through Tom Brady:

1) You have put in the time and the work

Tom Brady wasn’t the most naturally talented quarterback on the planet. But he had something a lot of other people didn’t. Absolute, sheer determination. He was hell bent on showing everyone that he was the absolute BEST guy for the job, and did what it took to get there. He practiced, he played, he studied. He went the extra mile when others didn’t.

In business it’s the same thing. You can’t just rely on your talent or skill (or lack thereof). You have to work at it. If you’re not a great coach yet, become one. Practice. If no one is listening to the songs you’re writing, go play them every single day until people start listening.

The NFL won’t come knocking on your door just because you want it and you know deep down you have a skill and talent that the world needs. They’ll knock because you’ve put in the time and you’ve proven yourself.

2) You have to believe in yourself and your abilities even (and especially) when no one else does.

Every review of Tom Brady went something like this: “Poor build. Very skinny and narrow. Looks a little frail and lacks great physical stature and strength. Can get pushed down more easily than you’d like. Lacks mobility and ability to avoid the rush. Lacks a really strong arm. Can’t drive the ball down the field and does not throw a really tight spiral. System-type player who can get exposed if he must ad-lib and do things on his own.”

It’s clear to see that he wasn’t at the top of the list. People didn’t believe that he’d amount to much. They thought 198 players were a better choice than him. But instead of letting that derail him completely, what he did instead was work harder and believe in himself more.

I hear it a lot in the business world that people stop creating when they don’t get the feedback/likes/props/engagement/customers they want. And after being a coach for six years now, what I REALLY want to say is “welcome to the club!”

The truth is that no one really cares what any of us do at first. People won’t believe in you. They’ll think your skills are crappy or your ideas are stupid. That’s all just part of the game. And it’s not a reason to stop creating.

The thing is that we have to make them care. And the way we do that is by working hard and believing in ourselves enough to not quit when the first family member, friend, colleague, or coach thinks you’re not good enough. Successful people HAVE to believe they can make even when no one else does. And that is the difference between becoming a Tom Brady or an Oprah Winfrey or not.

3) You can’t buckle under pressure.

This was one of my favorite parts of the documentary because it speaks to something that we don’t talk about a lot in the business world. Which is that people who “make it” are often people who know how to deal with and get through their stresses without completely falling apart.

I mentioned earlier that Tom Brady is known as the “Comeback Kid.” Which means that he has often been put in situations that are very stressful (ummmm I mean imagine playing a sold out stadium with millions watching all over the world) and has been able to perform and execute without the pressure getting to him.

Same thing happens in life and in business. Life is stressful. Business is stressful. There is no way around it. But in order to create something, do something, BE something (and maybe even end up in the Hall Of Fame), you have to be able to get through those stresses without buckling.

You must come up with systems to build your mental, spiritual, and emotional stamina in order to cross the finish line. (Click to Tweet that!)

4) You have to have heart.

I love this. And not just because “heart” is one of my favorite words and is part of my brand, but because this is perhaps the most important one. It is often discussed in the business world that in order to succeed you need to know your “why.”

Which means that you have to have a strong connection to why you’re doing what you’re doing. In other words, you have to have heart.

It’s the one thing you can’t measure on a stats card. It’s the one thing that will separate this player from that player, or this coach from that coach. And that is…how bad do you want it? And how much or little is your heart in the game?

It isn’t always the most “talented” person or the one who has all the statistics in their favor (time, money, resources, natural ability) that make it. It’s the ones that want it bad enough. (Click to tweet that!)

Tom Brady said it best when he said: “A lot of times I find that people who are blessed with the most talent don’t ever develop that attitude, and the ones who aren’t blessed in that way are the most competitive and have the biggest heart.” – Tom Brady

I still don’t know that I’ll be at the next football game but I love what this story is here to teach us. Really, I think success is simple. You have to:

1) Work your buns off

2) Believe in yourself even when no one else does

3) Learn to deal with your stresses

4) And care. Care more than anyone

I’ve been called too optimistic before but I absolutely truly believe that anyone can create the life and/or business they want to create. It doesn’t matter where you come from, the parents you were born to, the financial cards you’ve been dealt, or the unathletic body you’ve been given. These stories, of people like Tom Brady, or Oprah Winfrey show us that we can all be the greatest versions of ourselves if we’re just willing to do what it takes to get there. (click to tweet that!)

And now I’d love to hear from you….

Have you ever felt like your “statistics card” was stacked against you?

Have you ever had to be the “comeback kid” and pull out some mental strength from your back pocket?

Are you in this place right now where you’re not sure if you should keep going? 

Do share in the comments below and as always, if you like this article, make sure you share it with your friends.

Go long!

Sally

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The Three Words That Will Save Your Life

thisistemporary

The other day I was standing in my bathroom. Absolutely, utterly furious. About something that now that I look back on it, was really not a big deal. AT ALL. And as I was fuming and aggressively putting my clothes on the hanger and throwing my shoes angrily into the closet, I had these thoughts: “This is BULLSHIT and I shouldn’t have to deal with any of this and I’m over it. ALL OF IT. I’M DONE!”

And with a furrowed brow and headache brewing, life things happened. Like my mom called. And my best friend texted. And my partner was talking to me. And I got an email notification on my phone.

And since I was in this state…how do you think I reacted to any of this stuff?

I flew off the handle of course! I didn’t have time or space for my mom or friend. I yelled at my partner. I felt overwhelmed by the person on my email demanding “so much of my damn time” and in this state I wanted to make decisions from this “I can’t do this anymore” place.

Have you ever been THAT mad?

You know the kind.

Where your face is red, and tears are streaming down your face, and you can’t believe you’re dealing with this same problem…AGAIN. Your heart is pumping. And you can’t possibly see a way out. You imagine that you’ll never get through this and that you’ll feel this way forever. That it’s all over. There’s no fixing this. There’s no going back.

And then….

It gets better.

You talk about it. You calm down. You come to a conclusion that serves you. You let some time pass and it just doesn’t bother you anymore. You work through it. You look at yourself and recognize your part in the problem. You forgive. Them and yourself.

And then you go on about life until the next upset happens and the cycle starts all over again.

I was thinking about this in my own life recently. At how permanent things SEEM but how impermanent they actually ARE.

That heartbreak that you thought you’d never get over? You get over it.

That incident that you thought would ruin your relationship? Doesn’t.

That feeling you have inside that you will never stop feeling this way? It goes away. Eventually.

That fear about traveling out of the country? It lessens as soon as you get on the plane.

The thought that you can’t handle whatever is being thrown your way? Not true.

That feeling that you’ll always be broke? Not the case.

But in those moments of anger or upset or fear or sadness, you can’t see anything else BUT all those emotions.

Which wouldn’t be the end of the world, if you didn’t also make decisions from this place.

Think about it. How many times have you been in a fight with your partner and thought something like this: “I can’t believe we’re fighting about this AGAIN. I can’t do this for the rest of my life” and then make the decision somewhere deep down that you need to leave?

Or even worse, have you ever been so upset or heart broken that this thought entered your mind: “If I wasn’t alive anymore, I wouldn’t have to experience this pain”?

And even if neither of these exact situations have happened, I’m certain you have your own version.

Because the thing that happens is that when we’re in heightened states of emotion, and don’t give ourselves the time and space to work through the emotion, we BECOME the emotion and make unconscious decisions for ourselves from that place.

It’s those moments when you decide to get a divorce. Or quit your job. Or stay at your job. Or give up on your biggest dream.

Because it’s just too much. In that moment.

And as I was thinking about this, standing in my bathroom, I said something out loud that changed absolutely everything for me. And I think it’ll change things for you. And here’s the secret…

THIS IS TEMPORARY.

That’s it. It’s temporary. Everything is. This too shall pass. (TWEET THIS!)

I know it doesn’t feel that way when you’re in the eye of the storm, but I think it’s important to remember that one hour can be wildly different from the last. And sometimes we’re only one hour, one minute, one conversation, one decision away from everything being great.

And so this is my hope for us all….

That when we’re in those moments when we think it won’t possibly get better, and we should give up, or make life altering decisions, that we just wait five minutes.

We say to ourselves “THIS IS TEMPORARY” and see what happens. (TWEET THIS!)

For me…what happened was that everything turned around. After the storm passed I was more in love with everything in a deeper and more profound way. And I imagine that’s always possible if we just realize that it is all temporary.

Will you take on the challenge? Are you prepared to try this for a day? A week? A month? Let’s discuss in the comments below. And if you liked this article, don’t forget to “like” it and share it with your friends.

XO,

Sally

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The Fail Proof Method To Making The Right Choice In Your Life

blog 1.13

This week, something funny happened.

I realized that…I got what I asked for.

And you might be thinking “ok great…good for you…so what?” and that’s fair. I’d probably be thinking the same thing.

But in noticing that I got what I wanted (which if you remember one of my last blog posts I asked for “dual residencies in both Montana and California), I’ve also noticed that a ton of other unexpected things have shown up.

That is…what has happened in the aftermath of getting what I wanted, has been a whole new set of things to worry about and choices to make.

I giggle when I write this because I’m absolutely not complaining. Like “poor me! I got what I wanted and now I have choices…WAH!” but more like, I wondered how much this happens to ALL OF US.

The aftermath of the “ask” and the “get.” And the choices we are then left with when we get what we want.

Here’s an example:

I wanted dual residencies. And then less than two weeks later, I had the opportunity to have that. My awesome downtown apartment in Montana is still mine, and I found an awesome spot in California directly in the middle between two sets of my friends and all of my family.

The place is gorgeous, centrally located, well priced, furnished with all the things I need and extra fun bonuses like an entire garage (not that I have anything to put in it but still), a 42” flat screen TV, surround sound, and a washer and dryer. The house was also hand built by a Montanan wood-worker, so the entire thing is custom built with the most beautiful wood you’ve ever seen. It’s rad.

HOWEVER…what I didn’t think about when I was making my wish was that now I have two homes! Which means two sets of expenses. Two sets of rent, two gym memberships, two internet connections, two cars, two parking passes, two lives. And in order to maintain this for any amount of time, it’s bound to be more expensive than I’ve been used to. At least double, but actually more since Cali living isn’t quite as cost effective as Montana living.

Which leads me to choice. What should I do? Should I close shop in one place and combine all assets? Should I figure out a way to make more money so that it’s a non-issue? Should I rent out the other place while I’m not there?

And these questions rattle around in my brain all day long. And each day that goes by, is another day I haven’t decided. And when you don’t make a decision, your life is in limbo. You feel confused. You aren’t totally present anywhere because you’re focusing more on the “what ifs” and “what should I’s” then you are on enjoying the two new homes you just acquired. You’re not sure if you should buy a trash can and a broom, or wait until you make a decision and grab the ones you have from Montana.

And this led me to thinking about choice in general. About how every single day, from the second we wake up until the second we go to bed, our entire day is filled with a series of choices.

Some are small, like how many times to snooze or what to eat for breakfast, and some are big, like what direction to go in for your business or whether or not you want to stay in your relationship/your town.

I have noticed along the way, that a lot of people’s success is tied up in their ability to make beneficial choices for themselves.

And at this point you might be thinking…”well…that’s the problem. How do I know if it’s a good choice or a bad choice?” or “how do I CHOOSE and know I’m making the right decision?”

And you’re in the right place. Because I have a formula. And it’s fail-proof. But it does take some awareness on your part, so if you want it to work, you have to be super honest with yourself and your heart.

Here’s the formula: Decide what your goal is + make every choice you make and action you do point toward that goal. (tweet this!)

If it doesn’t point to that goal, then you don’t do it.

Here’s an example from my own life…

In this decision that I’m having to make right now, the choice is between keeping both places, or just having one.

And I’ve just realized that my biggest desire and goal right now is to have BOTH. To not have to choose between two things I love and want in my life.

So my decision then becomes… “Ok…whatever I do in regards to this, has to be in service of keeping both.”

The actions could be a variety of things like rent my place out to a sub-letter, rent it out as a vacation rental, or just make more money.

At this point, there is a new choice. The choice now is “which option to choose?”

So I can go back to the formula and start with my goals. What do I want now? Well…I want the most freedom. And second to that, I don’t want the double expense. I want to be able to come to both houses whenever I want and stay for as long as I want without hassle. Do I care if strangers stay in my house? I’m not sure yet. But since I’m playing with the idea I’m going to say no.

So the choice and option that gives me the most freedom and the opportunity to not have to pay double rent is renting it out as a vacation rental. That way I can choose the dates I want visitors in there, and have it for myself the rest of the time.

So as you can see here, the “right” choice for me is the one in which what I want, and what choice I’m making are aligned. (tweet this)

And here’s a fun video to explain this even further and to throw out a super fun challenge for you all!

Ready to practice this in your own life?! Below is a super fun exercise you can try. It is taken from the “Heartwork” (that’s “homework” for us Wildhearts) that I send out to the Wildheart Revolution Private community every week.

#Heartwork

1) Think about what decision you are trying to make right now. It could be big or small. About anything.

2) Discover what you TRULY want and what your overall (big picture) goal is.

And I say “truly” because a lot of times we think we want certain things when really, what you want deep down is something else.

This is an important piece. Go to that place that knows your truth inside. And ask.

This can be a business goal, personal, life, etc.

3) Make a list of the actions that are in alignment with this goal

4) Choose it

5) Share your discoveries us here in the comments below.

Choice is a huge part of life. You could argue that it is one of the biggest parts of life in that nothing can happen without first making a choice. So here’s to all our choices and having all our choices make a beautiful impact on our lives.

And if you want even MORE discussion and personal help with this, or if you dig these exercises, you’re going to want to make SURE you’re part of the Wildheart Revolution when registration opens back up this month.

It is THE PLACE to be to learn how to make real changes in your life, with a group of dynamic and amazing Wildhearts, and three coaches at the top of the game who are hell bent on you getting the life you want.

Be the first to know alllllll about it by getting all up in the party right here.

Happy choice making and I look forward to hearing from you!

Sally

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You Get What You Ask For. So…Ask For Awesome Things. Here’s How.

12.9 blog

Lately, I’ve been putting together my Christmas list. Yes…my family still does that, even though my sister and I are both well into our 30’s.

My whole family puts together a wishlist of what they want for Christmas, just like we all did when we were kids, writing our notes to “Santa Claus” and sending them to the “North Pole.”

There is nothing better than asking for something, and then getting it. Which is what usually happens when you make up a wish list.

And as I’ve been dreaming up and perusing the internet for all the fun finds and things I would love to unwrap at Christmas, (like anything from this Pinterest Board), it got me thinking about life.

About how we forget to ask the Universal “Santa Claus,” or God or Universe or Goddess or Guides (or whatever you believe in) for the things we want in our lives.

We forget to put energy into what we DO want, how we want things to be and look, and instead we put a ton of energy into making the list of “things we don’t want.”

And it’s no wonder that that is what gets sent out into the metaphorical “North Pole” and thus, what we find showing up under our metaphorical Christmas trees, all the time.

Think about it…when was the last time the majority of your thoughts were spent dreaming of and expecting that you’ll have and get what you want?

I’m guessing a very minimal amount. And that’s what today’s post is all about.

If you don’t start asking for what you want, you will always get what you don’t want (tweet this!). Because that’s where the majority of your thoughts live.

And what you think about (ask for) is what you’ll get in your life.

So, you might be thinking, what can you do to change this?

Usually, I keep the lessons and applications of what I talk about on this blog inside the Wildheart Revolution but today I wanted to share with you the “#Heartwork” I shared with the members this week.

The exercise, tool, or thing you can try and play with in regards to this topic.

Because it’s awesome. And fun. And easy to do. And can change your life.

So this week is all about dreaming up the wish list for your life. And then sending it out to your “Santa Claus.”

Let’s watch and see what happens.

#Heartwork

1) Write out your ultimate wish list of things you want in your life. Here are some places to look if you’re unsure:

– Things you want to have

– Things you want to create

– Things you want to be

– Places you’d like to go

– Relationships you’d like to be in

– Businesses you’d like to create

Don’t be shy here. List it all out as if Santa was there just waiting to give it to you. Be specific too.

2) Share your list. One thing I’ve realized is that the reason it works to get what you’re asking for, is because you’re actually asking for it to the person who can give it to you.

In the example above, I asked “Santa.” But it’s the same thing when you ask the Universe or God or people in your life.

So after you have your list, share it with us in the comments below. Let us bear witness to it. And let us all hold that you will have exactly what you want.

Dreams like clarity. Just like Santa. Or your family who will be buying your gifts. Think about it…how much easier is it to shop for someone when you know exactly what they want? The Universe wants to give you what you want, but it needs to know what that is. The clearer the message, the easier it is to get what you want.

I look forward to hearing about all your wishes this week. Make sure you leave a comment below.

Pondering my own,

Sally

Wildheart Revolution